h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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If we are going to give the Palestinians a state, I would like to suggest the State of New Jersey. Dow Chemical owns it right now but would gladly give it away if we did not require that they scrape up all the toxic waste. As an added bonus, the New Jersey Palestinians could always be identified because
they glow in the dark!
Mormon Polygamy: A History
http://www.signatur....com/reviews/mp.htm
Book reviews [pottedstu, Oct 08 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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New Jersey Palestinians sounds like the name of a football team. |
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Could we not give them Manhattan? |
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Isn't it a bit close for comfort to New York? How about regular Jersey instead (the channel island). At the moment I believe it's full of wealthy golfing tax evaders, although all I've got to go on is vague memories of watching 'Bergerac' as a child. I'm sure they wouldn't mind though. |
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New Jersey? Sorry, no. There are a great many sites in that state that are sacred to Catholics; Frank Sinatra is a patron saint. And Manhattan is out. I side with the Jews -- not just because they have prior claim to the island, but because their pastrami is to die for. |
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However, I agree that we should give the Palestinians a state ... and the state we should give them is Utah. |
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Think about it. The place is home to a great many stunning rock formations, with plenty of smaller, portable rocks strewn about for easy throwing. The Mormons are camped out there for now ... but to their own great surprise, they'll find kindred spirits in the Palestinians. They share the same sense of persecution and paranoia, tendency to embrace unpopular points of view, strange dietary habits and clothing items, and observance of multiple-spouse marriages. |
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Eventually, I'm sure that the good Mormon folk of Utah would end up sharing their culture (?), casserole recipes, even the great Tabernacle, with their Palestinian brethren. And the rest of us, Catholics and Protestants and Jews and agnostics alike, would find it easy to avoid passing through Utah. For many of us, avoidance of Utah is already a comfortable and familiar practice in our lives. |
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All in agreement? Yes? Croissant to the first 'baker who can supply the words to the new state song, "It Had To Be Utah" ... |
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No. They've completely blown their chances of -ever- getting anything from the US... |
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Somebody needs his Exploding Anger Doll ... |
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// If anyone does this, it will be my first ever automatic fishbone. That's right, FIRST. // |
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I'm sorry you took offense to my post; feel free to insult my religion, my state, my gender, or anything else you want, in return. But don't try to influence anybody else's decision to post -- on this site or any other -- anything they damn well please. The First Amendment trumps whatever outrage you may be feeling. |
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Relax. I didn't say that your brethren "smell like walking farts" (see your anno in "Muslim Health"), or anything. Learn to recognize a joke when you see one -- and to take some of what you dish out. |
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Baffin Island's very quiet this time of year. And only marginally more inhospitable than the Gaza strip. Did someone already suggest building an exact replica of Israel in the Sea of Japan? |
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Did it ever occur to anyone that Palestinians want a state, (and not just any ol' piece of land) for a reason. |
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</serious> Oh, AA, if only you'd said "Mormons no longer *espouse* polygamy." I'm sure you would have if your emotions had not taken control. <serious> |
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I can well imagine it is an emotional issue. I've modified my note to better indicate that my real concern was not so much AA's tone as the missed opportunity for a witty way to say it. |
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Some of the many reasons why this is a bad idea:
- "we," "give," "palestinians," and "state" are far too ambiguous. All must be clearly defined, as un-biased as possible
- theocracy
- israel
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This is a great idea, but only if they take it with them. |
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Noooo! I'll be damned if you give those guys my great state of Jersey. Give them Wyoming or Montana, no one lives there. |
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Let's give 'em London. I'm getting tired of it. And while we're rearranging things, can we give the Hindu guys a piece of Jerusalem? That seems to be an underrepresented religion in the holy city. |
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