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Gigantic Cereal

 Instead of enlarging the picture, why not enlarge the cereal?
 
(+1, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

Every box of cereal I buy has a close-up picture of the cereal on the front of the box, swimming in some sort of thick white fluid (not milk. probably glue). And a ginormous strawberry nestled snugly in the bowl. Naturally, since it's a close-up shot, the scale of the picture on the box is not 1:1 with real-life. Fine. And to emphasize this point, they box clearly states "Enlarged to show texture." The problem is I hate looking at pictures of giant cereal because it makes me *want* giant cereal, and I know I can't go to the store and buy any. It's a psychological torture.

I think we should enlarge the cereal to match the box. I imagine gigantic Cheerios, monstrous Corn Flakes, and metropolitan Chex. The giant strawberries might be a bit impractical, but I think it's entirely within our technology to produce giant cereal. The white glue would not be desirable.

My only fear it that the cereal companies, in their greed and depravity, then take the giant cereal, and put it into even more gianter boxes with pictures of the delicious cereal enlarged even more. With strawberries the size of pumpkins. And even more white glue. Oh the pain! The pain of it all!

—DeathNinja, Sep 02 2003

Note giant fruits http://www.geocitie...2/sleeperposter.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004]

Chuck E. Cheese RIP http://www.rambling...science/cereal4.jpg
Likely Old Wives Tale: Overindulged on giant ice-cream prior to going for a swim [thumbwax, Oct 04 2004]

2260 pound Rice Krispie Treat http://homecoming.msu.edu/TREAT.htm
It's big. It's cereal (well, mostly). [Cedar Park, Oct 04 2004]

Lucky Charms sex quix http://www.trygve.com/uecharms.html
Well, what to say? [Tiger Lily, Oct 04 2004]

(?) air puffed process http://www.homestea...e/Wc92391910fcd.htm
[kamenmann, Oct 04 2004]

Air Puffed Whole Wheat, Kernel Corn, Rice Grains http://www.weetabixusa.com/gunpuffed.html
Untapped Tuber Market! [kamenmann, Oct 04 2004]


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Annotation:







       Shredded Wheat. They are enormous.
—custardlove, Sep 02 2003
   

       Indeed, it's painful eating the larger size metal filings. ;b
—Tiger Lily, Sep 02 2003
   

       fractal cereals eh?
—po, Sep 02 2003
   

       "Are you enlarged to show texture or are you just happy to eat me?"   

       "Twenty kilo flake falls out of breakfast box! Drowns diner in bowl of white glue!"
—FarmerJohn, Sep 02 2003
   

       Yes. I'm looking forward to the day when I take home my box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes only to find a single, humungous flake inside. If it had enough "texture" you wouln't even need a bowl - just pour the milk straight on.
—lostdog, Sep 02 2003
   

       Now you're on to something [lostpooch] - bowl-shaped giant cereal that you simply pour milk into. Somewhat like an ice-cream cone. The challenge is to eat it without milk seeping out onto the surface below.
—PeterSilly, Sep 02 2003
   

       // Crunchy Nut Cornflakes only to find a single, humungous flake inside. //   

       You're like, "What the h---???" Then you look at the picture on the box and you notice it says "Actual Size, Not An Enlargement."   

       You won't make that mistake next time :)
—phundug, Sep 02 2003
   

       What is it with that strawberry thing? Does anyone here ever have a strawberry on their breakfast cereal?
—DrBob, Sep 02 2003
   

       + for coming up with a cereal that can't wedge into floor cracks or behind couch cushions. And for giving greater depth to the saying "like a fat kid on a corn flake".
—lintkeeper2, Sep 02 2003
   

       So instead of Cheerios we now have "Large-crusty-donut-o's"
—RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2003
   

       "You talkin ta me boy, I hope you ate your Wheatie.   

       Well darnit [custardlove], you beat me to shredded wheat, but there's also "Weetabix". They come wrapped as a tube of 12 bricks of pressed wheat flakes. Each brick is good for about 3 or 4 mouthfulls.
—Freefall, Sep 02 2003
   

       [thumb], your link's toasted like a giant 'O'.
—Cedar Park, Sep 02 2003
   

       //"Corn Flake" shift, Sep 02 2003 // "Serving Suggestion"
Stop it [UB], I'm laughing too hard.
—gnomethang, Sep 02 2003
   

       UB - "It's all beak!"
—lostdog, Sep 02 2003
   

       Surely the problem was that [UnaBubba] had eaten some of the pieces.
—half, Sep 02 2003
   

       Mm. Cardboard.
—Pseudonym #3, Sep 02 2003
   

       lostdog is so funny. bet UB hammered that puzzle into shape eventually.
—po, Sep 02 2003
   

       that *was* the puzzle - hah
—po, Sep 02 2003
   

       Does anyone remember Honeycombs? They were big (yeah, yeah, yeah), but it was hard to eat them without tearing up the roof of your mouth.
—AO, Sep 02 2003
   

       giant cherios eeeeeeeeemmmmm
—Turkish, Sep 03 2003
   

       I want a giant chocolate weeto (don't know if you have them in the US but basically imagine taking one of the darker (bran) cheerios and making it about twice as big and chocolate flavoured)the size of pretzel to eat on the train on the way to work.
—goff, Sep 03 2003
   

       I want to fight over giant Lucky Charms®.   

       --link
—Tiger Lily, Sep 03 2003
   

       Maybe instead of larger cereal, we could make smaller people. I'm thinking that a 75 percent reduction in human size would do nicely.
—pitah, Sep 03 2003
   

       That would solve the giant strawberry problem, too.
—Detly, Sep 03 2003
   

       Meusli with or without the fruit?
—Tiger Lily, Sep 03 2003
   

       Oh, sorry. I take it then you like Carmen's Original recipe.
—Tiger Lily, Sep 04 2003
   

       //I imagine gigantic Cheerios, monstrous Corn Flakes, and metropolitan Chex.//   

       I recently came across what I thought was a monstrous Corn Flake in my bowl, but I think my scale needs to be adjusted. It was roughly the size of 5 typical Corn Flakes, all melded into one fun flake. I enjoyed it, but now that I see the word "metropolitan" describing potential cereal size, I feel so lame.   

       Now, how do you solve the inevitable problem of breakage and cereal dust? Despite attempts to make a Corn Flake extra large, it's fragile. It would end up looking like a boxful of Jagged Flakes by the time you opened the box. Oh, and that horrid dust. Raise your hand if you've ever choked on cereal dust.
—XSarenkaX, Sep 04 2003
   

       “Well, that explains why my mother was wasting all away,” Charlene said, smacking her gum. “I put on her glasses the other day and jeez, the corn flakes were as big as my face.”
“As big as your face?” I asked.
"Yep, giant cereal! How could she eat something that big, I asked myself.”
“She couldn’t,” I said, “so what did you do?”
“I got her on oatmeal now, no texture at all. But you know, I found what that guy...”
“You mean DeathNinja?” I said.
“Yeah, he’s fascinating, isn’t he? Wonder what he looks like...anyway, I went out and bought some reading glasses for myself, a real high magnification—it even had a picture of Mr. Magoo on the tag—and now the cereal is super big. The only problem is, if I look at the box, the picture is even bigger.”
“Really...that’s ironic.”
“Huh?”
“Ir...nevermind.”
“Oh its big, big as, well, Charlie’s butt.”
“I don’t know if I want to eat something that big,” I confessed.
“You and me both, honey.”
—pluterday, Sep 04 2003
   

       I don't mean to be a flake, DN, but how does one go about eating one of your huge pieces of cereal? Would I have to use a hammer?   

       I'm sorry, I don't want to be a cereal killer at such a young age.
—Eugene, Sep 04 2003
   

       It's ironic that Fe-enriched cereal doesn't rust in the milk.
—FarmerJohn, Sep 05 2003
   

       Bravo! Amazing idea DEathNinja!
—Pericles, Sep 07 2003
   

       I won't comment on this cereal till Mikey tries it. Hey, MIkey!
—LabRat, Sep 07 2003
   

       As a refinement, I would suggest Gigantic Cereals can either take the form of 1)Large size manufactured corn flakes, shredded wheat etc or, 2) Air puffed whole grains, kernels and starches indigenous to a geographic region. Whether the subsistence starchy foods of a country are rice, corn, or wheat, the air puff process is the same. Cooking under high pressure and temperature followed by the sudden release into atmospheric pressure produces this low density form commonly consumed at beakfast. However, some countries rely on tubers for their main source of starch. Potatoes, manioc, yucca, and taro are some of the staples in other diets. So it would seem natural to say, air puff potatoes into something roughly 18"x8" (45cm x 20cm) in size. A couple of dozen could fit into a cardboard box like that used to package a refrigerator, and Costco or Walmart could easly handle those in their warehouse.   

       BTW, Puffed Potato Cereal goes well with Buttermilk!
—kamenmann, Sep 08 2003
   

       I can't believe I completely missed this one. How 'bout a shrink wrapped chex the size of a box. +
—sartep, Nov 23 2003
   

       If you don't feel like eating your ridiculously oversized cereal, you could always use it in another manner. Giant cheerios could rescue drowning people, you could use giant shreddies as gangways in factories. You could furnish your house with Bran coffee tables and chairs, or place a giant sugar puff on your bed as a pillow with a weetabix mattress.
—Deadlock'd, Feb 03 2004
   

       You know, Kelloggs or Nabisco or somebody kind of did this with a product called "Snack'ums." It certainly wasn't "gigantic" cereal, but they did make larger versions of Froot Loops, Corn Pops, and Cocoa Puffs. Each piece was probably a bit larger than a cheez puff or a quarter (one piece would fit on your spoon) and they were packaged in a tin for snacking. But I'm sure one could pour them in a bowl with some milk if large cereal was desired.
—tchaikovsky, Feb 03 2004
   

       Box? Who needs a box? The cereal *is* the box.
—RayfordSteele, May 15 2004
   

       What if it's french toast crunch? would you just end up with regular french toast?
—schematics, May 16 2004
   


 

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