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Produced by selective breeding and entirely without the
use
of GM magic, these eight-foot tall beasts have no stance
on,
nor involvement in, the catholic church or gay marriage.
Nor
do they hold any deep-seated ill-judged dislikes of any
televisual
science presenters.
By roving at
will amongst a terrified population, they
will
restore a sense of calm, determined inventiveness and
drive
humanity toward ever greater peaks of perfection in the
realm of portable lasers and custard-compensated
microwave
weapons.
Halfbakery: Cuckoo based Pterodactyl Reintroduction
Cuckoo based Pterodactyl Reintroduction
A different species, and a different introduction vector - however I see some synergy here in terms of the same general ends - i.e. the creation/introduction of a suitably unifying threat around which the entire human race can properly put aside their various differences. [zen_tom, Feb 07 2013]
Taking the piss.
http://25.media.tum...m01rlrhw5o1_500.jpg
Is that the right expression? [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 07 2013]
he took you seriously
http://1.bp.blogspo...0/SpiderChicken.png
[xandram, Feb 07 2013]
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Annotation:
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Baked. I can see them out of my window at this very moment. Oh, no, sorry, my mistake. Those are giant scorpion-turkeys. The claws, stinging tail and wattles give the game away. As you were. |
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Libertarian fascists. Now there's something novel... |
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Do they taste like spider? |
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Immediate bun. These creatures are quite possibly the
missing element in my latest anti-Cervus Displacia system.
Please deliver no fewer than thirteen of your finest Giant
Cannibal Spider-Chickens to the Department of Offensive
Zoology at the east wing annex of the Heathen Institute for
Inadvisably Applied Science and Chronological Malfeasance.
A substantial bonus will be arranged if they are
behaviorally conditioned to react violently to any species
of
teleporting ruminant. |
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//Please deliver no fewer than thirteen// These
things tend to flock, so I believe that substantially
more than thirteen may be heading your way at this
moment. They are inherently conditioned to react
violently to any species; specifically specifying
specific species would be specious. |
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Will they lay their eggs in your brain? |
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Dunno why the populace would be terrified: they only go after the smell of shoe-leather and soap-flakes combined. |
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Because they may have been using Rentisham's …? |
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Is there a bag limit on these things ? We haven't had an excuse
to load up the 'ol le.IG 18 since New Year … |
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//Will they lay their eggs in your brain?// Very, very
unlikely. They are viviparous. |
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[Max] hasn't mentioned it here but the famous wax is
actually exuded from a pair of glands on the rear end of
each of these critters. |
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Only if they eat it to excess. A full list of
ingredients is available on the Rentisham's web-page
site. |
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//Is there a bag limit on these things ?// I don't
believe so. The highest verified total is 417 in one
day, but there are anecdotal reports of them killing
as many 700 people. |
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[Max], could you please set them loose in the US midwest
and deep south? They need to find a rational reason to
have all of those firearms. |
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Wait a minute! These things are cannibals? So they eat
each other? That's a self-limiting problem, [Max]. They
need more inbreeding. |
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Yes, please set them loose in the Bible Belt, and breed a
sub-arctic variety for the ideological cleansing of Alaska
and New Hampshire. |
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The white ones will just turn brown if you set them loose
in Alaska, won't they? |
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Other way 'round, I'm afraid. |
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You needn't resort to the heavy artillery, Borg. My initial
estimates suggest that a well-placed .338 will be
sufficient, and so much more sporting. |
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On behalf of Canada, we protest the caging of such fine creatures and suggest that most of our larger urban centres would make a suitable habitat. |
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No need to give them rifles; some Pepto Bismol perhaps. |
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If we could have their eating habits tuned towards "human, Liberal" perhaps ? |
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// eating habits tuned towards "human, Liberal" // |
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You ARE aware that "liberal" means different things in
different parts of the world, right? |
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In Russia it means anti-communist.
In Australia it means conservative.
In America it means slightly to the right of Genghis Khan. |
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Thank Dog somebody understands these matters... |
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It was the Maori who wiped them out... along with the
earlier colonists in NZ, quite a lot of the trees, etc. |
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Erm, if they are cannibal, then surely only humans who have unwisely donned a giant cannibal spider-chicken costume will be at risk? |
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The expression "cannibalism" has been extended into
zoology to mean one individual of a species consuming all
or part of another individual of the same species as food,
including sexual cannibalism. |
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//if they are cannibal, then surely only humans who
have unwisely donned a giant cannibal spider-
chicken costume will be at risk?// |
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Sadly, their ability to discriminate species is very
poor. |
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//their ability to discriminate species is very poor. |
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We had a great-uncle like that, the hush money was astronomical. |
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//The expression "cannibalism"...consuming all or part of another individual of the same species as food |
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"of the same species" I am not the same species as a GCS-C. Can't we just use "carnivorous"? |
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Re. [bigsleep]'s link regarding large flightless birds -
there is some evidence that a small species of moa
survived in New Zealand until relatively recently,
being domesticated by the Maoris and kept in the
grassy central plaza of the village. These small(ish)
birds were grazers, like geese, and kept the
vegetation down in much the same way that sheep
were once grazed on village greens. These, of
course, were the first lawn moas. |
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That's why many of [Max]'s 45,000 sheep bear an
uncanny likeness to him and his ancestors. |
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He has 45,000 sheep bear? Truly it must be like Island of Doctor Moreau out there.. |
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That's the trouble when you cross a fake English
nobleman with a molecular biologist and introduce
the product to the HB. |
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The nobleman may be real, but some of the molecules are fake. |
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I was never taken in by those buckytubes which just happen to resemble Smarties tube painted black. |
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// fake English nobleman// |
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He's right, you know - I'm half American. |
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So half of you wants to write a stiff letter to the Times and the other half would prefer something more...ballistic? |
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Welcome to the halfbakery. |
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