h a l f b a k e r yMay contain nuts.
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To promote herd immunity, regularly spreading disease amongst everyone in the population.
Standardize all public and private fixtures and fittings (notably doorknobs and light switches) to encourage people to readily swap switches from home with those found in public (train stations, businesses,
etc.).
The units should 'quick release' but only when a similar unit is used to replace it. (i.e. the device used to replace a doorknob should would be the replacement doorknob - to prevent someone just being awkward and hiding all of the doorknobs and light switches.)
Inspired by Germicidal Door Knobs
Germicidal Door Knobs
Germicidal_20Door_20Knobs
[Dub, Jan 07 2006]
NOT These!
http://www.moreinsp...vation.aspx?id=4236
[Dub, Sep 21 2009]
Turns-out they follow you when you move...
http://phenomena.na...-with-our-microbes/
[Dub, Aug 28 2014]
Office Germs: Viruses Spread Everywhere in Just Hours, Study Shows
http://www.livescie...spread-offices.html
[Dub, Sep 14 2014]
Chimps ...
http://en.wikipedia...ps#The_Tipps_family
"In 1956 PG Tips began using anthropomorphic chimpanzees in their TV advertisements. " [8th of 7, Sep 14 2014]
[link]
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how do you replace them without touching them? |
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That's the point - you do touch them. Everyone to touch everything all of the time. Spread them germs! |
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But I wanted to avoid someone just stealing them and leaving buildings without light switches and door knobs - And the only way I could think of doing that was to force replacement using the replacement rather than removing one unit and then re-fitting another. |
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What are those yellow and black rectangles with the shapes inside? I see them everywhere, everywhere! Do you hear me? |
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you need the insertion of the new switch to unlock the old one and allow you to take it away. |
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I think a lot of religions go in for [finger] ring-kissing and the
sharing of little glasses of wine - that ought to do the trick. |
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//ring-kissing and the sharing of little glasses of wine - that
ought to do the trick// |
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Do I need to go to some form of religious ceremony for the
purposes of keeping my immune system busy? Is exposure to
the occasional undergrad herd not enough?? |
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The collective noun for undergrads is "sloth". |
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Really? I've been using "plague". |
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And has it taken? There are so few vectors around
these days. |
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actually, they're paying $35k a year here. I'd want to be
called "sir" for that. |
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// The collective noun for undergrads is "sloth" // |
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Interestingly, the collective noun for sloths is a "bed", which
would
also be appropriate for undergraduates, and many other forms
of
student life. |
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However, the collective noun for new graduates is a "troupe", as
in "a
troupe of chimpanzees*". |
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*It is a well-known and much lamented fact that, initially, the
great
majority of male graduates in scientific and technical disciplines
are
just about capable of drinking tea <link>, but are incapable of
making
it without instructions. Written instructions. In large print. And
being
stood over the first 50 or so times while they make the tea, so
that it's
possible to administer the necessary Gibbs Slap to pre-empt
them
from (yet again) putting the milk in the mug with the tea bag
before
adding the boiling water** |
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It is even more lamented that although female graduates in
scientific
and technical disciplines are outstandingly, indeed fearsomely,
competent in very nearly all*** aspects of day-to-day life, they
are about
as prevalent as rocking-horse shit. |
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**Despite the disgusting qualities of a beverage prepared in a
mug
using a paper bag of woodshavings and rust, it is necessary to
start
the training at a very basic level; the concept of the spoon can be
introduced after six months or so. It is best to keep the teapot
hidden
for the first year, as premature confrontation with a vessel which
has
two distinct and separable components generally induces
catatonia
for
several weeks. |
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***Including, but not limited to, changing wheels on motor
vehicles and reprogramming recalcitrant ADSL2 routers, but
(oddly) not including starting 4-stroke single cylinder
lawnmowers. Very strange. Must be a bloke thing … |
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