Genetic data party straw

There is a gene, DRD4 R7 that makes people twice as Easy (link), so we coat the upper surface of soda straws with UV fluorescent gene detectors then a handyphone can view everyones genotype at a distance. Perhaps a person might say along with being attentive to social cues or conversation you can just see who at the party has the DRD4 R7 gene.

At a milder even more prosocial affectionate area It occurred to me that a genetic data party straw could cause earnest conversations like

Wow you have the gene where people remember almost all of their childhood. That is so awesome like as you are uh, looking around at the people at the party you actually make more sense than other people when thinking about genetic futures

"hmmm"

Well like I slightly remember third grade. Yet a person like you that remembered all of it would remember things like writing notes was a fun friendly activity compared with your noneffective popular music impressions. Now someone like me might just say, oh a good reason to pass notes a year earlier, like specify higher IQ genes at your daughter, yet a person who was actually there might be able to remember that you really liked your parents yet the one that worked until 7pm usually had sleepy daughter parent interactions so rather than just drive towards being ever smarter with musical ability you might also have the perspicacity to specify genes where a kid is generally fully awake the entire time they are awake, greatly improving their emotional lives as well as those of their parents. Also I see you are easy. we could chat more about this at breakfast!

Why salivate into a tube then send it to a lab when you can salivate ON a tube at a party?

Now chemically I know none of you will believe this works even though ion exchange resins as well as polaroid process chemistry are well known technologies.

Realtime PCR kits exist (link), they detect unique RNA at realtime, there is also a patent on a version of PCR that uses nonthermal physical methods to do cycling, using micronewtons of pressure rather than the stochastics of warmth to divide DNA between PCR cycles (link).

The outside of the straw has a grooved hygroscopic microtexture, visible or otherwise, The saliva is drawn along these channels. When the straw is formed microchannels adjacent to the grooves are created, these contain the PCR chemical reagents. These reagents are sequentially drawn along the groove as a result of the osmotic force of wetting when the straw is used.

You just march the prep as well as PCR chemicals sequentially past the adjacent saliva groove using osmosis. This is a little like moving a layered drink with a far absorbent (link) to get it to react with the saliva that has wicked along that channel or an adjacent connected channel. You could also the warmth of drinking to move the reagents, kind of like a love meter. (link)

Notably of course there are thousands or possibly millions of times more RNA at a cyte than DNA at the nucleus, Furthermore finding the proteins the persons is actively making from an RNA quantifier is a benefit.

Translation: this is straw that detects DNA or RNA then changes color to describe what it finds, Other people have already described the chemistry. There is the option of using UV fluorescence so handyphones can see the genetic description guiding people to what they like.

Perhaps It is more fun to salivate ON a tube at a party than to salivate into a tube then send it to a lab.

Its a straw humanity could grasp at!