h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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Flyposters are a blight on the urban landscape. The removal and disposal of these urban 'artworks' is a messy and difficult job. But, having observed a snail slowly eating himself a convoluted trail through an old poster on a telephone kiosk, it dawned on me that these cellulose-mad creatures could be
exploited for the benefit of mankind.
Some research would be needed to find the most suitable species followed by a breeding programme to produce a new breed of monster cellulose-munching molluscs. Municipal workers could then stick these specially farmed snails on the affected areas and leave those little guys to (slowly) do all the hard work. At their own pace of course.
Giant African Snail
http://www.biosecur...e-african-snail.pdf
gives an idea of their size [ConsulFlaminicus, May 16 2006]
[link]
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I've seen this in action on my patio. An old barbecue briquette bag was the target. |
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You'd want some influence on the snails. Maybe paint the target with flavor enhancer. |
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And speaking of GM, you'd want them to only be able to eat paper, and have short life spans. |
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If they went independent, you might have ended civilization as we know it. |
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The end of human civilisation? I've always thought those little guys were up to something. |
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An afterthought: impregnate poster paper with freeze-dried snail eggs for built-in obsolencence. |
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Snails act as a vector of eosinophilic meningitis which is caused by the rat lungworm parasite, Angiostrongylus cantonensis. It would not be wise to put snails in an urban environment which will almost certainly have a high rat population. |
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If you don't take that back he might slug ya. |
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I hate that Angiostrongylus. |
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[ConsulFlaminicus]: Come again, becuase though I can't understand what you said, I think it implies some kind of rat infestation being caused by this, so if you explain it I will for sure be able to run in fear. As it is, I'm not bunning this until I'm sure I will be safe from rats... |
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I should mention that these super-snails would be bred for their extra hard rat-proof shells as well as for their extraordinary appetite for posters. |
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He posts an idea about snails eating posters. Is that Freudian? + |
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As long as they don't eat the poles themselves. |
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General rule of Playing with Nature: Any species introduced to solve a problem ultimately becomes a new problem itself. |
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The wheatpasters would just start coating the posters in salt. |
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Any chance we could make them eat spray paint? Flyposting is easily fixed by hand, compared to graffiti. |
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Cool , neon tetra snails as they absorb and adorn synthetic dyes and paints . |
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