Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Make mine a double.

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Funeral Director Award

For outstanding direction of a Funeral
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Designed to encourage more creativity in funerals. Funeral Directors have fallen into a rut over the past century.

The plots always the same: Speeches, slow car chase, ceremony, gathering. How funerals are still getting made using this dried up formula is beyond me.

I mean whoever directed Timothy Leary's funeral was a genius, flipping the whole funeral idea on its head he shoots the star into space instead of burying him in the earth.

Big budget funerals, like those for royalty should try to outdo each other. I'm hoping to see the pyrammid come back into style. If people really loved Princess Diana I'm sure they wouldn't mind hauling 50 tonne blocks of stone about.

I mean what kind of hack director put her on a small island in the middle of a duck pond? Obviously a director who wasn't out to win a Stiffy - The Funeral Directors ultimate award

sputnik, Jun 13 2001

These guys are not likely to win. http://skybusiness....ervice/thirteen.htm
[angel, Jun 13 2001]

(?) This person has won the "Funeral Direcor of the Year" award http://www.hamilton...org/merryburley.htm
[hippo, Jun 13 2001]

[link]






       There's a slightly sick irony in here that I almost like.
angel, Jun 13 2001
  

       I *do* like this.   

       Btw, try a Dixieland Jazz funeral. Very nice production values, and for ordinary people, too.
beauxeault, Jun 13 2001
  

       And, of course, it's good for business:   

       "How do I know Fred will get a fitting ceremony?"
"Madam, I've got a Stiffy."
bookworm, Jun 13 2001
  

       Or a Viking funeral, like King Arthur's at the end of "First Knight." Doesn't get much better than that.
beauxeault, Jun 13 2001
  

       Well...the Funeral Company i used to work for was never on time...so on many occasions the whole Funeral procession hit the highway at 70mph. The local P.D complained on several occasions. Got some real strange looks from the people we overtook though.....
Pretoria, Jan 10 2002
  

       This is an outstanding idea, and I wish I had come across it earlier. As I don't think I'll be wealthy enough to rate a pyramid, I think I'd like something with a cardboard coffin and a variety of seeds.
phoenix, Jan 11 2002
  

       Alice Cooper has the right idea for the Stiffy.. "Cold Ethel...cold cold ethel!"
Ala, Jan 14 2002
  

       They have a hard job, they deserve an award.
Vegan_Girl, Oct 05 2005
  

       How have I not seen this before? Brilliantly dark humour and very well written too. Considerable amounts of pastry for the now departed [sputnik].
hidden truths, Oct 06 2005
  

       Not sure I want to be buried by a bloke with a Stiffy, but neither do I want to depart in a long black Volvo.
wagster, Oct 06 2005
  
      
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