h a l f b a k e r yFlaky rehab
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Coin-operated payphones are increasingly rare, but do still exist. They have high maintenance costs, and low revenue returns.
Now, BorgCo have a solution to the public service dilemma faced by the telcos.
Since many payphones now have some form of digital display, we have designed a combined
payphone and gaming machine. The user has the option to pay the standard fee when they make a call, or opt to pay a little more - or get less call time - and in return the phone, when the call ends, "spins the reels" - after which the caller may (though usually won't) receive a cash payout, exceeding the value of the toll previously paid.
For those who do not wish to gamble, there is of course a no-gamble option; this is the default, and the "try your luck" choice has to be explicitly made by the user before placing the call.
This will encourage payphone use and make the whole process more interesting.
Touchscreen Cleaner Booth
Touchscreen_20Cleaner_20Booth Added value .. [8th of 7, Nov 05 2020]
[link]
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...or you could, as you suggest, shave the cost of a
penny off the charge for a call, and then repurpose
the old phrase "spend a penny" (which referred to the
charge for accessing a public toilet), and allow the
payer of this charge to urinate or defecate right
there in the phone box - people will love this
time-saving, efficient innovation! ... oh, wait a
minute... |
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Do you think including a coin-operated toilet paper dispenser would add to the marketability, then ? |
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Hmmm ... it could also vend condoms ... |
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Why not add even more functions? - example -
shoe shining this would be achieved via a small
person kept in a box at the base of the booth, who
will clean your shoes while you're on the phone if
you insert enough coins. |
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We have Prior Art in that general area of endeavour ... |
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[xen] You might have to differentiate those phone
boxes where someone crouches at your feet polishing
your shoes and those which you're free to use as a
public toilet. I'm not sure you could combine these
two uses of a phone box. |
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The only way to determine that is to try it and find out. How are your crouching skills, [hip] ? |
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// free to use as a public toilet // |
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No, it's not "free", you still have to put coins in the slot ... |
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[hip] They could do both. One hand could clean
the shoes while the other holds up a wide necked
vessel to receive the urine stream. 8th has already
demonstrated adeptness of this technique and
often deploys it on a Saturday night out to raise
the funds for the taxi fare back to his caravan. |
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//caravan// - you mean 'bunker' (Did you not see my
[8th of 7] clerihew?) |
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Well, as it's windowless and half sunk into a bog, I
suppose it is a type of cave. He got it cheap once
Jimmy Saville's estate towed it to the outskirts of
town. |
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Yes, but it was worth every used tram ticket we paid for it ... it came with the contents included (though the cops had taken the better stuff) and some of it's worth a mint of money to the right buyers (i.e. twisted, deviant perverts). In fact, we'll send you a catalog .. cash bids only, mind. |
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