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Frigid Earpiece

 Is your ear hot and/or bothered?
 
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<Elvis/>thankyouverymuch</Elvis>
Please, please, hold the applause.

Now, for my next impression
<refrigerated/>earpiece</refrigerated>
Baboom - splash

<cricket/>chirp</cricket>

Why-hy, thank you for that smattering of applause -
Perhaps I should explain. One of my ears, like many ears the whirled ouvre - is killin' me. What I propose is an earpiece somewhat akin to flexible blue-ice bags which can be inserted into the ear. This earpiece wouldn't be leaving any who-knows-where it's-been-and with-who water in the uh, canal, but it would provide relief in otherwise tight quarters. With Safe-T handle, it'll look like you're wearing pacifiers for that oh-so-princely Prince Charles look, which is soooooo avant-garde.
—thumbwax, Jun 04 2003

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       Do you call the collection of that many ears "a flock" and likewise, death by such, as being "flocked"?   

       Joking aside, I do sympathize for you having that kind of pain. Could ice, frozen in a mold shaped like an icycle, do the trick?
—Tiger Lily, Jun 04 2003
   

       I know people who wear them as blockers for tinnitus. This would be very helpful, bun. +
—saker, Jun 04 2003
   

       Ice melts - water is not good for the inner ear. Particularly mine. I'm not looking sympathy or pity - just presenting a solution.
—thumbwax, Jun 04 2003
   

       [thumbwax], my question came about from my own experience gained during the peak of a chronic bout with ear pain (a condition present for 10+ years, hence, my gesture of sympathy) and the relief I experienced when, on a desperate lark, I held a natural icicle partly in my ear canal.   

       The solution to the ice melting, and therefore pooling in my ear canal, was to hold my head sideways and parallel to the floor with my face turned slightly upwards while keeping the icicle gently inserted from below. I appologize for seeming to dole out pity. That wasn't the nature of my annotation at all - just presenting a possible solution.
—Tiger Lily, Jun 04 2003
   

       kind of an ear condom?
—po, Jun 04 2003
   

       Perhaps more like an oto-olisbos.
—Tiger Lily, Jun 04 2003
   

       <Herman Munster/>Lily</Herman Munster> I think you actually meant *empathize*. 10 years? Ouch.
—thumbwax, Jun 04 2003
   

       [Pictures doctors puzzled by the sudden surge in frostbitten ears in the Hollywood area...]
—DrCurry, Jun 04 2003
   

       Heh. "Oh, Herman! You _knew_ I meant *sem*-pathize!" <snort>
  

       Yes [thumbwax], ten years plus; like wearing a stone in my shoe. Inexplicably, the pain has all but disappeared except for rare occasions. (must have been the technique)
   

       // Friends, Romans, countrymen...//   

       By any chance, is this speech of yours a l o n g one?
—Tiger Lily, Jun 04 2003
   

       I fear that if I lend UB my ears they will come back cold and soggy.
—Worldgineer, Jun 04 2003
   

       <Lends UnaBubba/>ears</Lends UnaBubba>
//What exactly the hell is wrong with you guys' ears?//
In my case, I've worn a hearing aid daily for f-f-forty + years. It's crucial that the fit be snug, and I switch between 2 different mould designs - currently, I'm using one which, to the touch, is very soft by mould standards, but fits tight as hell (read: as it needs to be). The other mould can only be described as a skeletal hybrid of lucite with a medium-density canal insert.
To top it off, a few years ago, I had the displeasure of acquiring some funky *From Malibu to Trestles-Surfing* related ear infection, which meant I had to *weeps* stop surfing *weeps* and start using a $120 per prescription dropper the size of a small eye-drop container. The infection is almost completely gone, but the unrelated soreness from constant wear certainly isn't.
But enough about me - I wonder if a device of this type would have a positive effect on ear infections for lil' 'bakers.
—thumbwax, Jun 04 2003
   

       Maybe [Twax] should just take whatever he has been jamming in his ear to make it so sore, freeze it, then jam it back in again. This has a certain homeopathic like-cures-like to it which no doubt will make it effective.
—bungston, Jun 04 2003
   

       And will also end the intended useful lifespan of the device immediately, as shrinkage occurs. $75.00 for a mould down the toilet. If it doesn't fit, you must, uh, quit.
—thumbwax, Jun 04 2003
   
      
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