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Fresh Moat
Keep you moat fresh with citrus scented carp | |
Genetically engineed koi carp could rid the household moat of algae, bacteria and blanketweed by secreting a mild disinfectant / bleach scented with a range of pleasing cirus aromas. Colour coding would stop you from
mistaking a Lemon Zest carp from a Orange Bouquet.
When expired the carp can be recoverd
using a strong magnet on a cane, as through the nose of each carp is a ferrous ring
[link]
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moot point: who has a moat these days? I thought this was a toilet cleanser. |
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That would defeat the purpose of a moat. How is a moat "with a range of pleasing ci(t)rus aromas" going to ward off the bad guys? Carp? bah, there harmless. You still need crocodiles. And really nice smelling crocs at that. |
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If I were a carp in a moat
And you were a nastie,
Would you you try to swim anyway?
Would you make my da-ay? |
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Moats could be segmented into 2 groups: a moat that reeks like fish or other unsavory substances, and a recreational fishing pond that smells like pleasant fragrances. You could have, for example, a CK1-scented pond filled with CK1-scented alligators (or carp; your decision) surrounding your home. Ah, the perfect *deterrent* to those pesky nasties. |
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Dag: Citrus scented piranhas. |
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You have to live with the moat all day, everyday. The besiegers only have to put up with it now and again. And they can do their besieging from the upwind side; if it's a proper moat, it goes all round your property. You're ALWAYS downwind .... |
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Crocs are no good; they like to lie out on the bank too much and would be easy targets. I would go for a mixture of the aforementioned piranhas with a seasoning of some of the nastier Antipodean species; box jellyfish, stonefish, sea snakes and blue-ringed octupi. Of course, piranhas are freshwater and the other species are seawater but I'm sure some clever sod can work out how to do it. |
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As long as one is conjuring up magic air-freshener fish, I'm sure changing their water preference wouldn't be a problem. |
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Maybe they could be trained to season the water to their liking with salt shakers. |
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A truely effective moat is deep enough to drown in, and wide enough to tire you out swimming. Most really good moats are actually lakes. |
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Every truely good moat should of course come with a large school of candiru fish. |
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I also hear that box turtles, geese, and spiny elodea plants make for a lovely addition. Of note is the fact that plants tend to be easier to GM around on. |
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