h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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When I'm done work, and it's after 7:12 pm, the bus comes only once an hour.
The other day, and many, many times before, I find myself running for my life, waving my arms, and yelling to no avail.
There would be one detector in front and one in back. If the camera/software installed could be set
to detect a flailer in a steady crowd of walkers and standers, the bus could alert the driver a rider really needs to get on.
Combined with a mic and voice recognition software, picking out someone yelling "WAAAAAIIIIIITTTT" should be easy to pick up as well.
[Giblet] abroad.
http://i147.photobu.../teamamericart8.gif
[theleopard, Jan 24 2008]
A New Bus for London design competition
http://www.tfl.gov....london/default.aspx
Has anyone entered any of these half baked bus releated ideas to the competition to design a 21st century version of the Routemaster? [acemcbuller, Aug 11 2008]
[link]
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Shoot the tyres out on the bus ? |
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Despite the fact that bus drivers secretly get off on leaving potential passengers in the rain, frantically masturbating as they pull away, with thick rivers of spit streaming from their slippery, teeth-knawed lips, I still love this idea. |
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See the Bob Newhart monologue, "The Bus Driver School". It also covers useful subjects like starting off suddenly before a passenger is seated, then braking sharply, throwing them to the floor. |
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Bus-poon, winch and roller skates? |
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Yeah, bus drivers do seem to go outta there way to piss you off, It's not as if they're in any kind of hurry *snort* |
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"Whalers" is a misnomer. They're actually hunting wild hars but the whales keep getting in the way. |
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I'll have to look that Bob Newhart up.
Love this idea (+). |
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You guys are too hard on bus drivers. They're trying to maintain a schedule and if you get to the stop late, it's your problem. |
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Of course, this would lead to teens and chavs simply waiving at buses in order to throw them off schedule. |
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Waiving their option to board the bus, of course. |
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[P]o: you forgot the ap'ostrophe. |
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Here, can you sign this waver in acknowlegement? Just somewhere above the elbow, thanks. |
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This is for making sure the bus driver is aware of someone tying to catch the bus, so they can make a decision based on that as well. |
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You will notice that you inserted malice into my idea, not me. |
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[phundug] I am not being hard on bus drivers. If they _see_ someone they usually wait. This is so they know. |
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//You will notice that you inserted malice into my idea, not me. // nah, its a well known fact that london bus drivers are trained to move off the moment an out of breath customer reaches the stop. |
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Giblet, I'm sorry if you feel that my intention was to be malicious upon your idea.I simply have a problem with London bus drivers and it appears that you also have a problem with bus drivers, as stated that they will not wait a extra 10 seconds for you, therefore, you are seeking a solution through this device.If you so wish I will remove the quip regarding the bus-poon, winch and roller skates. |
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My annotation, however, was purely complimentary. |
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// My annotation... complimentary // |
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You're a bit fo a crawler, aren't you ? |
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// moment a.. customer reaches the stop // |
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Oh, so wrong.... if you look in the Secret Book, they move off just as the customer reaches the door. The idea is to ease away from the stop very slowly, holding out the hope to the running would-be passenger that they might just catch the bus after all, but then snatching that hope away, leaving the exhausted, frustrated runner standing in a puddle of dirty water up to their ankles, the rain pelting down around them. |
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<camera slowly pulls back and lifts POV as principal falls to knees in puddle, crying> |
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I didn't know you were a bus inspector, 8th. |
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We are everywhere. Have you not noticed that bus inspectors are relentless, emotionless humanoids seeking to crush the spirit of all they encounter ? |
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If you look closely at one of our Cubes you will see the London Underground map motif, cunningly woven into the design... |
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He knew he was going to be thirty-five seconds too late. The bus driver was meticulously prompt at leaving, and frivolously random at arriving...but what was to be done? His plutonium-iridium strut braced brain began cuing up the reserves of genius he knew was there. Then, it came to him. |
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Gloria, the sex starved, vixen of a waitress! He called the cafe and asked for her...only minutes were left. What was the dealy? She surely was not busy at this time of day...Ah! At last... |
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"Gloria!" Her sweet lilting voice responded... |
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"Honey, you've got to repay that favor you owe me...and now." |
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She seemed agreeable...perhaps too agreeable...but it just might work. |
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"The bus stop...right in front of the cafe...." |
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"Yeah...that's the one..." |
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"Sure baby...just shut up and listen will ya...I don't have much time..." She was gorgeous...but, God! She was a yapper. He knew Chihuahuas with more ability to be silent. |
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"You go out there and stand as if you're waiting for the bus...when it stops, you've got to stall him." |
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"Whaddya mean How? Any way you can...just stop him 'till I get there" |
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"Yeah...well, what ever turns your menu page...just do it...I gotta go, Sugar...Now don't let Daddy down..." |
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She would stop that bus...if anyone could stop a bus, that gal could....and How!" |
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He ran...his life didn't depend on it, but time was short and he didn't want to spend any more of it waiting at bus stop in the rain. Sure. It wasn't raining right then. but, as soon as you miss the bus, you just know it's gonna rain. |
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He glanced at his watch...now he had to go...She could stop the bus but she probably couldn't hold onto it very long...his feet beat a frantic tattoo on the hard, cold pavement…he wasn't sure if he could keep up that pace...but he would sure give it a college try. His lungs were burning, he was gasping...gassing out...he had to keep going, just a hundred feet more and then around the corner...he could rest when he got there...His video mind played visions of him sitting, relaxing on the nice war bus…the vinyl and fiberglass seats wrapping his form like the arms of the lady he knew he could never have....twenty-five feet more and he would know...he tried sniffing the air to pickup the dark smell of burned diesel fumes...was the bus still there? Did Gloria manage to halt the leviathan in it's tracks and if she did, how?...He ran harder, forcing his burning tritium cells to pulse more power...his second wind was coming, but his circuits were overheating. His telescopic CCD vision was graying out...the air was foul...Bus fumes, perhaps? The corner was in reach...he reached out a quivering tentacle...pulling, grasping for the plasticine brick...
"Gloria...hold that bus!", he yelled with his rushed gasps. |
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He finally turned the corner...and saw her laying there, arms neatly crumpled beneath her inert and streaming torsion bars...the lubricants and coolants splattered in grotesque patterns...the reds and the blues and the browns blended all together and still steaming made him want to toss his hexagonal cheese bars...she had stopped the bus, alright...she stopped it too good...but, at least, she stopped it. |
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He smugly smiled as he dropped the allen wrench tokens into the meter…at least he would get to the garage on time tonight…He marveled as he sat down and peered out the slotted, ruby layered windows…sure enough, it was starting to rain. He felt great. But, there would be no more Glorias to help him stop the bus from now on…and that was just too bad. He would have to practice running frantically, flailing his multi-hinged tentacles and whistling…like all the other late riders he so despised. |
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Skin, you assumed I don't like bus drivers, but nowhere in my idea did I say that thye were ignoring me. |
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I merely invented an idea for a device that help ensure the bus drivers SEE the people. |
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Cool, that's probably why I tossed a bun up there. |
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its like tossing your camera and fucking breaking it! |
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