Food Allergy Challenge II

So, people with food allergies exist. Some of them I am sure are legitimate people with legitimate problems who are just trying to get on with their lives. Now, the ones I meet at parties are a different breed. I'm not allergic to anything, well, I might be, but who's got the time for that? The people I meet at parties, that's who. Its seems to be some form of competitive social masochistic one upmanship. It usually starts with a small group of light drinkers, one of whom declares their vegetarianism. Before long, someone goes nuclear with veganism, with nut, grass, pollen, gluten and cat allergies*. I think it's because they have nothing else to talk about.

Let's sort it out. A game show. To be titled [insert country]'s most allergic! Contestants claiming an impressive array of allergies come on the show. They are tested for allergies by qualified medical professionals, blood tests are revealed live for antibodies, histamine levels, cortisol and what not. Anyone caught faking an allergy is roundly booed by the audience and contractually obliged to eat a whole lot of the thing they're not allergic to.

Eventually, a leader board will develop and the most allergic will be invited back for the finals. The finals will involve a whole lot of exotic foods from around the world. Contestants will be unaware of their allergic status to these foods, the winner will, of course, be the person with the most total allergies, possibly discovering two or three new ones in the finals. This will also be their prize, since it will make them top dog at parties. The fakers get shamed. Possibly enough that they have to go and read books, or develop personalities.

*but tiddles is my life!!!!