h a l f b a k e r ySuperficial Intelligence
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Flies - they're not big, and they're not clever. Typically, they will
buzz aimlessly around the room for a while, then head for the
window where they will bounce repeatedly against the flat panes
before going for another tour of the room. As they get more
desperate, their window-bombing becomes
more frequent but no
less
ineffective.
Window-bombing fly-related woes begone! MaxCo is proud to
intronnounce the FlyBegone Window Funnel!
The FlyBegone funnel is attractively crafted from the finest first-
pressing acrylic, and resembles, well, a funnel. The base is 4.11
inches in diameter, and the stubby cone tapers to a 1.2cm orifice.
Simply get your local glazer to cut a 4-inch circular hole in one
window pane, and affix the base of the FlyBegone to the outside
of
the glass.
The secret of the FlyBegone is in the carefully designed prisms
sculpted into the surface of the acrylic, ensuring that it scatters all
available sunlight inwards, thereby appearing brighter than the
rest
of the window. Flies, desperate to escape and moving, naturally,
towards the light, will make a fly-line for the FlyBegone. Instead
of
battering themselves pointlessly and irritatingly against the flat
window glass, they will find themselves funnelled out of the room
completely, finding the freedom they crave whilst relieving the
householder of their annoying buzz.
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Why go from inches to metric? |
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Other than that fine point, it sounds like a fresnel lobster trap. |
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aaaand yet another bun for the fine people at MaxCo. [+] |
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//Why go from inches to metric// Because glaziers are
traditionalists whereas flies have a more European
perspective. |
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"Because glaziers are traditionalists whereas flies have a more European perspective" |
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Moths certainly aim for the brightest spots around, because they are attracted to warmth. But are flies analogously motivated? I think they might simply be aiming for the window in general, because window means freedom! Does .5B have a team of scientists who can investigate this point? If moths aim for illumination, and flies aim for freedom, then I would say moths are more European and flies are more American. |
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Perhaps it could taper to a 1.2cm orifice impregnated with faecal/carrion something or other, but I think the funnel should be enough. The fly just needs to aim at the window. It'll find the orifice soon enough, the funnel does the rest. MaxCo will have to come up with some way to stop pigeons s(h)itting on the funnel though. [+] anyway. |
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"Moths certainly aim for the brightest spots around, because they are attracted to warmth. But are flies analogously motivated? I think they might simply be aiming for the window in general, because window means freedom! Does .5B have a team of scientists who can investigate this point? If moths aim for illumination, and flies aim for freedom, then I would say moths are more European and flies are more American." |
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-No, really this is a prize. |
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Damm those metric flies.... why don't you just fit fly-absorbing glass? |
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