h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Killing flies is hard work. The brainless things are either
wobbling through space or have abruptly landed and
vanished.
Tracking their erratic flight is key. So what about a set of
auto-tracking searchlights with the agility to keep up?
These
could be paired with a laser, a spring-loaded
salt cannon,
or a
focussed ultrasound emitter.
Whatever the gun, it would have to look like an AA
cannon.
Crucially, it would also have a gun camera linked to your
PC or phone. It would track
automatically, but you'd get the satisfaction of pressing
fire.
Pump-Action_20Salt-Gun
[tatterdemalion, Aug 19 2020]
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It should be possible to track a fly with multiple
lasers from all corners of the room, such that each
laser on its own is not powerful enough to char your
soft furnishings, but the simultaneous combination of
all the lasers on the fly results in its speedy
evaporation in a puff of smoke. |
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You're no fun any more ... |
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Maybe add pre-charred soft furnishings to the range
of tie-in merchandise for this product then? |
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No. It's just not the same. |
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I can picture [8th] loading a charge of salt into his full-size
acht-acht. Then I picture an extra-annoying fly landing on
the breech block, just to vex him. |
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Add an air raid siren on this sucker and you've got a winner.
[+] |
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Occurs to me, don't need this anyplace else than at the
windows. Easier to target, you're basically targeting on one
plane as they bounce against the window over and over in a
dance of celebration of how stupid they are. Plus you just
have a tray at the bottom to collect the wreckage so you
don't have dead flies all over the floor. |
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There is a laser that seeks out and gets rid of mosquitos already, last I heard it was even being prepared for commercial introduction, so you idea is looking good but has pretty much been developed. |
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Does it have the gun cannon? |
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[+], though one may have to wear mirrored glasses to
cohabit the room. |
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We can tell you've never worked for a government, [kdf]; you've got that completely the wrong way round... |
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You're no fun any more ...
-8th of 7, Aug 19 2020 |
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Either the gun cannon is baseline, or I resign, effective
immediately. |
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We were addressing our comment to [hippo] ... we like the idea as originally stated. |
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As you wish... "You are Gideon Gono, and we claim our 5 Zimbabwe dollars... oh, wait, six dollars... ten dollars... fifty... eight thousand.... four millon... oh, just give us a pound for a cup of tea." |
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//You're no fun any more ... -- 8th of 7, Aug 19
2020//
//We were addressing our comment to
[hippo] -- 8th of 7, Aug 20 2020//
Your
statement appears to be based on a false premise that
I was, at some point in the past, 'fun'. |
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/like a German Acht-Acht/
And just like that, I'm back on board... |
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And it wasn't a stray cat, it was Schroedinger's. Now the
poor thing isn't sure whether it's dead or alive. |
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[+] Because I want a full creeping barrage moving through
my house to finally get that cheeky fly I've been dealing
with for days. |
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Strangely, no. Our attempts to market a "drumfire" version of the "singing telegram" using several regiments of Krupp 75mm field guns gained very limited additional interest (it turned out that our existing customers were quite satisfied with the non-musical version). |
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I wonder if you could broadcast secret messages
with a morse code encoded artillery bombardment |
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