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Floor ATM
For when you need more cash, but can't quite muster the coordination required to stand upright | |
We've all encountered the situation in which we need more paper/plastic money, yet can't quite get it together to use a regular ATM.
The floor ATM solves this problem, by allowing even the most horizontal of drunkards to continue withdrawing funds until there are no more funds to withdraw.
Simply
lie on the floor, allow your wallet to sink carpetwards, punch in some random digits, and the floor ATM gives you the funds you require to kick on through the night. The amount withdrawn is based purely on a model of the user's past behaviour, rather than what they actually type in, thus preventing the poor sap from accidentally gambling away his life savings or buying expensive coctails for everyone in the bar, rather than plonking down a safe $20 bet, or simply purchasing a few close friends and wellwishers a refreshing pot of ale.
The decadent lifestyle must continue, no matter the cost.
While you're down there, feed the meter.
http://www.halfbake...-o-meter#1003642580 Great for bordellos. [daruma, Dec 08 2001]
And don't forget that you're pissed
http://www.halfbake..._2fforcet#998784051 All the hos says 'amen' [reensure, Dec 10 2001]
[link]
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I really do not want to promote such uncalled for drunken behaviour but I can't type for laughing. |
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I see a "win-win" business opportunity when used in conjunction with the bordello Comp-o-meter -- see link. |
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I'm with [po]. Oddly enough, I've always used this as a gauge as to when I need to quit. |
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Har! Gets my vote. Now get down to that drawing board and INVENT it! Uh, by the way, can someone lend me fifty bucks? |
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I like this. But it'd need some form of accompanying device which would return you to a (vaguely) upright position afterwards. Either that or invent a floor bar. Mmmmmmm. |
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Would it have a breathaliser to ascertain just how drunk you are? It could then give you a pre-arranged amount of cash accordingly. As much as you like when you're sober, and less and less as the amount of alcohol in your system increases. Perhaps all ATMs should have that. |
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"...accessing my account..." |
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