Flatulence Reodorizer

Very few things are more embarrassing than clearing out a room after a nice lunch of bean and cheese burritos, especially for those of us who very much value our public standing.

Farting in public is, after all, still a taboo thing to do, not only because of the noise it creates and the region of discharge, but also because some of us value our senses of smell, and a good ripper can render us unable to detect even the finest roses. Then there's the churlish giggling...and don't forget that methane, the major ingredient in flatulence, is flammable.

And, for people with Crohn's disease, which can create gas bad enough to melt tungsten, it's not just a laughing matter - fear of farting can render people homebound.

So I propose a fart reodorizer - not to be confused with those pansy little DEodorizers.

Reodorization would be simple - just construct a patch with a gel bound to flavor esters (strawberry, lilac, different kind of fart), and design the gel so that it binds to methane more strongly than to the esters. When a flatulent burst passes through the charcoal filter and over the gel, the gel binds to the methane, releasing the flavor ester.

The more methane-heavy the original expulsion, the more sweet-smelling the result. Huzzah!