Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Flash Toaster

For those in a hurry.
  (+10)(+10)
(+10)
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A normal Monday morning: My alarm goes off at 6:16, I silence it. It goes off again at 6:26, I silence it. It goes off again at 6:32, I slowly sit up in bed. I need to leave at 6:45 in order to be at work by 7, leaving little time for toasting. If only there was a product - a flash toaster - that could instantly flash me a piece of perfectly prepared toast without having to wait for a toaster to heat up.

A flash toaster would incorporate two large Xenon arc lamps. Not true "flash tubes" but the end result will be the same and arc lamps don't need to be replaced between every use. The lamps are powered by a capacitor which recharges in the night.

One final benefit is that the owner gets to start his or her day not standing and waiting for some boring old toast, but listening to the crack of a 30kW discharge and seeing a puff of smoke rise from behind the gold tinted glass shield. There is no need for coffee because your adrenaline will already be going; there is a solid chance that one of the lamps will explode and destroy the toast (and your kitchen probably). Always wear eye protection when toasting!

DIYMatt, Apr 23 2012

This oughta do it. http://news.softped...cing-Mission-2.jpg/
IMAX 15kW Xenon Arc Lamp [DIYMatt, Apr 23 2012]

Our ensemble is almost complete... Instant_20breakfast
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 23 2012]

Simply order in advance - 24 hours notice required though Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Apr 23 2012]

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       Yum, I want some toas.
blissmiss, Apr 23 2012
  

       What are you talking about? I never make typos!
DIYMatt, Apr 23 2012
  

       I'm not really sure this would work, unless you want your toast only to be browned on a terribly thin layer, or to be toasted on the inside and burned to ashes on the outside, making it not really toast at all except by the most pedantic definitions.
Hive_Mind, Apr 23 2012
  

       // gold tinted glass shield //   

       Nice touch. A full-color display makes such things much more exciting. [+]
Alterother, Apr 23 2012
  

       Yes! Instant-er breakfast.   

       you could water-cool the inside of the bread to stop it over-heating, or thinking about it, freeze the bread beforehand.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 23 2012
  

       Just hold the toast out the window, somewhere near the South/North Korean or the India/Pakistan border sometime soon.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012
  

       I played around with flash tubes years ago, and was able to melt the surface of synthetic fibers without affecting the core of the fibers. And that's the problem--the flash is so quick and short wave that it doesn't go very deep. To toast bread, you'd need to allow it to react via the Maillard reaction, and I doubt that would happen in the millisecond flash.
ldischler, Apr 23 2012
  

       Thought this might be a member of a crowd who suddenly raises a glass in salutation.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 23 2012
  

       Or a member of a Scottish crowd, who suddenly raises a kilt in salute.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012
  

       + to Una's comment. (border toast)
blissmiss, Apr 23 2012
  

       Remember, these aren't flash tubes. They could be on for a full second at a lower power setting. Also I'm too terrible at chemistry to be sure but sources tell me that a Krypton arc lamp would produce more infrared.
DIYMatt, Apr 23 2012
  

       Please pass the Ammonium Perchlorate preserves?
Alterother, Apr 23 2012
  

       You gotta post that, [bigs].   

       What about induction heating? Orr a combination of IR amd microwave?
8th of 7, Apr 23 2012
  

       We have programmable automatic coffee makers... obviously what's needed here is a programmable automatic auto-loading toaster.
RayfordSteele, Apr 23 2012
  

       Already got one (link).
normzone, Apr 23 2012
  

       Vodka.   

       A very quick spray of vodka onto the toast before the flash would add and possibly slow down the heat input over a longer period of time, allowing the heat to penetrate deeper and more evenly.   

       Possibly difficult to explain to the officer holding the breathalyser.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 24 2012
  

       <Still holding the breathalyser. Ossifier>
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012
  


 

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