h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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MaxCo. has been following with interest the recent court
cases over the Frog Hat and the Bat in the Hat. I hardly
feel it necessary to draw further attention to these
unfortunate incidents.
Seeing a much-needed gap in the market, MaxCo. is
diluted to announce the launch of its range of Flail
Hats.
Concealed in the crown is a low-profile lightweight
electric motor driven by an integral battery (with
optional
solar top-up). When the built-in microphone detects the
high-pitched whine of an insect*, the motor is turned on,
spinning the tastefully-designed hub at the top of the
hat.
Two 28cm spring-loaded, tip-weighted piano wire flails
are extended from the hub by centripugal force,
providing
a near-invisible and virtually silent helicopteroid effect.
Any insect intersecting the disc swept by the flails is, of
course, dispatched immediately.
Our latest models have flat, angled spring-steel flails
which, when extended and rotating, provide negative lift
which presses the hat more firmly onto the head. This
obviates the need to raise one's hand to steady the hat in
windy weather, and hence eliminates any risk of
inadvertent limb removal. This arrangement has the
advantage of actively drawing insects towards the flails
in
the airflow.
*warning - crowds of Australians may cause unexpected
activation of the mechanism.
[link]
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//...Our latest models [...] (eliminate) any risk of limb removal...// |
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I must congratulate the MaxCo Design Team, no doubt recently adorned (via **previous** models of the Flail Hat) with the very latest prosthetic limbs that lowest-bidder money can buy. [+] |
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[8th of 7] must be smiling, wherever they are. |
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Thank you, [grog]. I doff my... oh bugger. |
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// Seeing a much-needed gap // |
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Or creating one, once the thing gets up to speed. |
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might work on bees, possibly flies; but would probably attract flying ants, mosquitoes and midges like a carnival ride. |
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As a head-mounted strimmer, it could also be useful for lawn edging and/or ninja topiary, which has yet to be invented. |
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I can approve, but only if the entire hat resembles a cow's arse with a rotating duo tail...... welllllll??? does it?? {dangles rare (for me) croissant award temptingly} |
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Just for you, [xen], since I owe you one. |
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