h a l f b a k e r yFutility is persistent.
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Sweet...
Making the Joneses keep up. |
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Excellent, but what is a firework drone? |
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It's an essential component of a set of Moriarty & McGonagall's
Patent Exploding Bagpipes ... possibly the best (or at any rate, least
worst) bagpipes ever made; they produce a brief but spectacularly
colourful display of pyrotechnics before exploding with cataclysmic
violence, destroying both themselves and the indiviudual attempting
to play them. |
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As such, they are revered by musicians everywhere. |
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The ingenious initiation mechanism, combining an air-pressure
operated safety switch in the mouthpiece and a flow-sensing arming
mechanism in the chanter, ensures that they can be safely handled
under all circumstances, right up to the moment a wilful and
malicious attempt is made to operate them in the "correct" manner by
one accustomed to the weapon. |
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It is best that their existence does not enjoy undue publicity*, as the
surreptitious substitution of a set of these pipes for a normal set is
seen by law enforcement everywhere as the most prompt, cost-
effective and satisfying way of dealing once and for all with repeat
offenders. |
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*Up to now, a Gentleman's Agreement between the authorities
involved have explained away the "Spontaneous Bagpipe(r)
Explosion" phenomenon by blaming it on "Whisky vapour detonation
in the bag", which everyone sems happy to quietly accept. |
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Oh, for Heaven's sake ... turn your hearing aid ... TURN YOUR
HEARING AID ON ... YOUR HEARING AID ... TURN IT ON ... THERE .. IN
YOUR EAR ... Oh, what's the use ... |
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"Turn yr hearng aid on!! " |
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There's no need to shout. And you need to work on
your spelling. |
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