h a l f b a k e r yOutside the bag the box came in.
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BorgCo product development are pleased to be
able to reveal the latest development in time for
the Christmas season.
Most people store their decorations from year to
year. This takes up space, and there are the ghastly
rituals of unpacking everything and packing it away
again.
Now, however,
a light dawns (If you're incautious,
quite literally). BorgCo are proud to offer an
extensive range of pyrotechnic Christmas
decorations. Artificial trees, paper chains, tinsel,
baubles … all packed with combustible goodness
and ready to go at the application of a flame, or
indeed an incautious nudge with an elbow.
Bring some excitement back to the festive season.
Head down to your local store and buy all the
decorations you need. Put them up in your house.
Spend the next three weeks looking round
nervously and searching guests for matches and
lighters. On New Year's Eve, take the lot outside
and set fire to it. Et viola, a celebratory display.
Nothing to pack away, just some ashes and bits of
cardboard to sweep up. And next year, you have
the fun of choosing your decorations/fireworks all
over again, which is excellent for our balance
sheet.
Safe extra low voltage LED lights are available;
standard incandescent lamps are best avoided, as
are candles, open fires, and coughing a bit too
loudly.
Christmas pyrotechnics chez pocmloc
http://www.simoncha...as_tree_candles.jpg
[pocmloc, Nov 12 2012]
Please note that these are for decoration purposes only as it can be very dangerous to use candles on Christmas Trees
http://www.candleso...andle__Holders.html
[pocmloc, Nov 12 2012]
[link]
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never thought this would ever happen but + |
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I must admit, though, that I was expecting a large
firework which, when placed in the centre of a room
and lit, would explosively decorate everything with
tinsel. |
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Just a slight surfeit of enthusiasm ... |
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I believe the correct spelling is “WALA”. |
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I missed this, how I know not. A pretty, but
dangerously flammable bun. |
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+ (could there please be some mini explosions whilst still on the tree?) |
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When I was a child, we always had a bonfire of the tree, holly, ivy and cards on Jan 6th. All that greenery that has been hanging drying indoors for 3 weeks or so... |
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Now I am pretend grown up we start the pyromania earlier... <link> |
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// whilst still on the tree // |
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We perceive that your pitiful human brain
has completely failed to grasp the total and
complete awesomeness of the idea. |
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The decorations are not removed from the
tree. The tree is itself a pyrotechnic assembly
and includes fusing. The decorations attached
to the tree are linked up to the pre-installed
fuse mesh. |
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The whole tree, complete with baubles and
tinsel, is taken outside and detonated as a
single sequence MUHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
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Excellent, [8th]! [+] I award you a fresh steaming bun for your... Hey, wait a minute... take it OUTSIDE? |
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Outside is optional. If you let it off inside, the
walls and ceiling will initially prevent you
seeing the full effect of the display. |
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Obviously, given that these are BorgCo
pyrotechnics, even if you start indoors, you'll
be outdoors fairly quickly ... |
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