h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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The Boy Scouts tell us to always be prepared, but when the batteries and bulbs and mechanisms for your trusted flashlight goes out, what is a good scout to do?
Why, just turn on his Finger Lightning of course! Finger Lightning is a glove-shaped mass of LEDs, worn on the user's hand and equipped to
a secure and omnipresent energy source (perhaps the Sanguidynamic Power Plant).
First, the user's fingernails are removed to ensure no ripping or malformation will occur during installation. Then, before messy scabs and scars can form, the glove is placed on the user's hand. During installation, the LEDs are not on the actual glove, to prevent malfunctioning during the actual melting process. This process is when the glove is heated to a semi-solid state, where it bonds with the user's hand. The soft pods where the fingernails used to be make excellent bonding zones. Once the plastic has cooled slightly, it is reheated, and the LEDs are now pressed firmly into the plastic, until they stick and are completely coated by the plastic, shielding them from any harmful environmental effects (water, wind, fire). Then, their long leads are drawn out near the wrist and coated in either copper, or taped up with electrical tape for safety, and entwined to make one cord leading from the Finger Lightning! Glove.
A plug is then installed on the end of the wire and off you are, ready to see your way through even the darkest night!
Sanguidynamic Power Plant
Sanguidynamic_20Power_20Plants
Trusty power source for the Finger Lightning! [grza, Oct 15 2007]
Finger Lights
http://www.core77.c...ges/lightfingaz.jpg
not same thing as idea, but nice image and core77 is a great site [xenzag, Oct 15 2007]
Phone Home
http://imdb.com/title/tt0083866/
This guy did it already. [Noexit, Oct 16 2007]
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Annotation:
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The light that is emitted by the LED-based Finger Lightning! is much brighter than a small finger flashlight, and if paired with the SdPP, it won't have need for a battery. It also has other advantages, like flexibility and multi-directional lighting, something that only comes with buying at least ten of those finger flashlight things. |
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Also, and I thought this goes without saying, but you can always lose a finger flashlight. You can't lose the Finger Lightning! because it's stuck onto your hand, permanently. |
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I don't think I was as clear as I could be on the light. It is not a hazard in the shower; the copper leading to the lights is coated in plastic or electrical tape, and is only plugged in when you want light. The lights themselves are safely tucked away inside the plastic, perfect waterproofed from shower damage, so if one were to want to use Finger Lightning! in the shower, it would be perfectly safe. |
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If you couldn't see the infinite amazing possibility for romance that come with a hand that lights up, I might question your creativity, sir. Besides, with the plastic, the glove is only a gently rounded, slightly larger version of a human hand, not some barbed, spiked or ribbed concoction. |
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Heh, like attempting to find your partner in the dark after they have fallen out of bed? |
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The temporary benefits of a ribbed hand would quickly become tiresome. The hand needs to be able to be used like any normal hand, so efforts to give it good grip, as well as heat/cold sensitivity are upgrades to think about, but not really spikes or bumps or ridges. |
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Secondly, the hand isn't cybernetic. It's only got a plug coming out of it. Also, after time you may imagine that the plastic is your skin. Initially, sensitivity would be lowered, but over time your hand-nerves would become more sensitive to the subtle cues of the outside world. |
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Given the human propensity to explore, this will culminate in the " the sun shines from my ass" application. |
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sp: lighting. finger lightning will find you attached to a tesla coil or vdg generator. |
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The Lightning is sort of a brand name idea. It makes it sound electrifying and dangerous, as well as insanely bright. |
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Either that or the whole thing will become gross and infected. |
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If I'm going to rip out my fingernails, I want actual lightning, dammit, like emperor Palpatine. |
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There would be little risk of infection, because the plastic seal around the hand would be airtight and the heat of the melting plastic would be high enough to kill off any germs. |
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I assume that much of the nerves will be removed by the process, if only to ensure proper application, but this is a small price to pay. |
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Besides, feelings of motion and weight will leave it still effective for most use. |
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Now I'm not saying that full use of the hand is going to be possible. This is a trade-off. But, after a short healing process, and simple mechanical devices will become a lot less painful after the short installation period. Once you're healed, anyone lifting or using a fork in the dark will be at a significant advantage to non-Finger Lightning! Glove users. |
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//I look forward to your next offering of grafting a spring into one's back to make getting out of bed easier.// |
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Make sure you put them on the knees as well so that I can speedily get back into bed. |
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//First, the user's fingernails are removed to ensure no ripping or malformation will occur during installation.// |
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this is where i stopped reading and started boning you as rigorously as possible. removing fingernails IS a malformation. and there is no "short healing time" for implants such as this. you are apparently unfamiliar with what it is your fingernails do for you. but let me assure you, once you have a clunky metallic device pinned to your nail bed you will find out. |
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i'm not actually opposed to the notion of fingernail attachments. heck, women do it all the time with lee press ons, but fucking with the nail beds is short sighted and massochistic. if you would back this truck up and change the idea from freakshow implants to lee press on laser lights, you'd have my bun in an instant. along with quite a few others, i should think. |
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"Given the human propensity to
explore, this will culminate in the " the
sun shines from my ass" application." |
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Read as "human propensity to
explode"... |
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