Filter-feeding Restaurant

I get a little bored with the human method of feeding, and an occasional diversion of mine is to emulate the eating techniques of some of the fauna we share this planet with. In my ongoing quest to feed like the animals I've eaten bananas "ape-style", I've torn apart a raw steak with my teeth, and I've swallowed whole fish. Damn I've even grazed on grass.

One of the animals I'm most jealous of is the majestic blue whale - I am awestruck as these beasts take in a mammoth gulp of ocean, and then squeeze it out through their baleen, trapping and then swallowing thousands of krill. I had some success mimicing this by using a bottle of sea monkeys, but it didn't quite feel authentic. I think to do it properly you need to be in the water - after all, whales don't have hands.

So what about a pool containing lots of mini-krill?<factoid>krill are the highest biomass species on the planet</factoid> Actual krill are about 6 inches long, and so are probably too big (though I would give them a go). Instead you could probably use some smaller shrimp relative - just fill a normal size pool with the little fellas. People turn up at lunchtime, go for a swim and, well, filter-feed. Great exercise and a way to relieve the boredom of using a fork. You could also stop referring to lunch as "lunch", and start calling it "feeding time".