h a l f b a k e r yCogito, ergo sumthin'
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Famous First Words
An anthology of greetings to use upon meeting famous and infamous personalities who have been missing or thought by many to never have died. | |
Henry Stanley had two years to formulate his legendary "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?” uttered upon locating the African explorer and missionary. In the same way, appropriate salutations should be readied for use when any absent or presumed dead, renowned or notorious person pops up.
“Jimmy Hoffa!
Are those bits of concrete and seaweed I see in your trouser cuffs?”
“bin Laden, huh? Call off your dogs or you’ll wake up on the operating table as a Taliban woman.”
“Elvis, I was Crying in the Chapel, now My Wish Came True with the Wonder of You and I Beg of You, Don’t Leave Me Now.”
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Jim Morrison? Alive? I knew that it would be untrue! |
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John Lennon? Imagine that..... |
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Richie Valens! Thank God for parachutes, eh? |
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Lady Diana? Fancy running into you... |
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Anton Zander LaVey? Well, I'll be damned...... |
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Henry Stanley, I presume? D'you see what I did there, Mr Stanley? Flashback humour! |
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Saint Maximus? You don't say? |
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Harry? Harry Houdini? Amazing....... |
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Awww. And here i was expecting a collection of famous people's embarrassing "Gaga! Dada!" |
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You're really Richard Feynman? Surely you're joking! |
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You're Amelia???!!! How was your flight? |
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Yo, Socrates! Can I get you a drink? |
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Gandhi? Here, have a croissant. I mean it! – Have the croissant! |
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Helen Keller. Woohoo! Now we get to do that furniture thing again! |
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Picasso... Well paint me surprised. |
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Mr. Williams??? Well come on inside Ted, it’s a bit chilly out there. |
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Adam!!! <friendly sock to the ribs> How’s it going? |
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Hendrix?… Wow! What a trip. |
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I are pleased to meet at you Mr. President |
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You're Robert Ripley? I don't believe it.... |
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Mr. Jagger? Pleased to meet you, Hope you guess my name.... |
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Lord Lucan! Now, about that repeat ad in The Lady for domestic help... |
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You're JFK!!!!!! That blows my mind..... |
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Kurt? Kurt Cobain? Hey! Next shot's on me..... |
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Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name? |
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Madeleine Murray O'Hare? Thank God you're alive! |
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Houdini? How'd you get out of that one? |
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(half - you are an evil genius) |
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Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world have you been? |
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Beethoven? I thought you were decomposing these days. |
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Bruce Lee? Well isn’t that a kicker! |
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Medusa???!!!!! ……………………………………… |
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<off track> Never trust a man who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy doesn't try it on </off track> |
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they cause 3 deaths per year on average |
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Then they shouldn't be wearing them while driving. |
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Sir Walter Ralegh, as I live and breathe! |
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Alan Freed!I guess it all paid off in the end... |
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Liberace! Nobody can hold a candle to you. |
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Lizzie Borden! Well cut off my legs and call me Shorty! |
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Richard Harris, would you care for some cake? Oh, rats, it's raining. |
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Dylan Thomas?! Guess you *didn't* go gently... aw, forget it. |
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Under Milk Wood II - he's back, and he's raging!
(off topic, sorry) |
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<off topic> When Clemens visited Australia, he said the Australians were so much like Americans, they even sounded the same. I guess another century of trying to keep the flies out took its toll. </off topic> |
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John Merrick?
Well then just who's bones *did* I buy at the Jackson estate auction? |
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But apart from that Mr Lincoln, did you enjoy the show? |
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Noah, so how's the weather? + |
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Beethoven! I thought you were decomposing! |
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Newton! I heard you were disintegrating! |
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Mark Twain, Hi! I heard a rumor... |
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Descartes? I think not! Hey, where did he go? |
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Maybe I'm wrong, but I think most famous people's first word is "waaah". |
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Hey Caeser, have you seen Brutus around today? |
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Hektor, baby, chill out man, you're such a drag. |
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"Liszt? I'm afraid you've been marked for deletion..." |
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absinthe wilt thou leave? (profuse apologies) Thanks [wags] though. |
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Dr. Kavorkian? Wait a minute...you're not dead yet! |
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Välkomnande rygg , Lantbrukaren John. |
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Elvis has entered the building. |
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//Lady Diana? Fancy running into you.../ Ouch cut to the core! |
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**Stops the man**
When you first were approaching, I wasn't so sure, Mr. Heisenburg, but *now* I am almost certain! |
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Miss Duncan? _Love_ that scarf! |
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