h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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Some days, you're stuck in the cubicle, needing to get a ton of stuff done. There's all those project deadlines, the status update report, the TPS reports, the halfbakery anno'ing that needs doing, and of course the customer issues.
With a little peer pressure, you feel the need to pull your own
weight, and that helps you stay motivated to get things done.
The problem is that, come Friday afternoon, the workplace can clear out fast, and you lose that peer pressure. Now, doing even the smallest task requires summoning enormous discipline.
Enter the solution: Fake Co-Worker Background Noise. Your coworker's PC's can be setup to have screensavers that make inert sounds like a keyboard being busily clacked away at, along with some mouse clicking sounds and paper shuffling.
Now, you'll never know you're alone, and will find it easier to continue momentum into the wee hours.
(Of course, this here HB posting is doing such a service to a peer over the wall.)
This screensaver can serve other purposes, too.....
Background noise
http://www.iserenity.com/environments.htm
Choose typewriters, traffic, waterfalls... no actual cow-orkers, tho. [ConsultingDetective, Apr 16 2005]
[link]
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I understand the bit about peer pressure driving you on, it's a good thing. But the phrase <stuck in the cubicle> gives me real nightmares. How can you work like that? What keeps you from going mad? |
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There was a Dilbert cartoon where Wally made annoying cubile sounds play on his PC (clipping toenails, etc.) to drive co-workers crazy. |
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Workaholics will misuse this on off-hours. + |
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I figured this would be a device you carry around for calling an SO and saying "honey, I'll be home late again today, the boss asked me to stay after" while preparing to commit sexual acts with a person who isn't your SO. |
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(Color me bitter. I just dumped a girl who had been using work as an excuse not to see me.) |
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dis, I hate to tell you this but *she* dumped YOU! |
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if you need counselling, please don't email me, thanks. |
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why don't you just put this on your own
computer, and then you can convince
business associates, or the head office
that you're hard at work, when you're
really lounging on the beach? |
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[po], it was more complex than that, as she was attempting to blow me off for a couple of weeks and leave it open for her to change her mind (as she had often done over the last several months) and start seeing me again. You're sort of correct in that it wasn't a straightforward I-dump-her situation, but--fuck it, nevermind. Rest assured I won't be emailing you for counseling. |
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Purring Performance? Vibrating Vacuum? Pencil Parade? |
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[ConsultingDetective]'s link sounds like an alliteratory fetishist site. |
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The office I used to work in actually did this. I never figured out what it was - I suspect it had to do with something in the ceiling tiles (or maybe above them) that made little intermittent mouse-click-sounding and keyboard-tapping noises so if you were walking around the office while everyone was out, you'd always think there was someone on the other side of the cube wall working late or on the weekend. |
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Yes, background noise can be a terrible give-away when telling a white lie on the telephone. |
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How did they get the sound of Woodstock to go forwards 1 month in time? |
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//The transmission was not actually live - it was transmitted the previous month.// |
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?? I can't follow the logic. Must be all that background noise....BE QUIET! |
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Not many people know this, but the music festival actually took place at the Sea of Tranquility a month earlier. |
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Ah, yes, the vibes at Woodstock were so powerful, that they could be detected at the moon, even one month afterwards (and/or prior). |
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But, back to the point, imagine how much faster we'd have (faked) gone to the moon if the engineers could have heard the (faked) work-noises of their peers. I fear we may be delving back into metaphysics... |
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If a machine makes noises of mouse-clickings and keyboard-tappings, and nobody's there to hear it, is there an omnipotent being controlling our fate? |
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If there's no-one around to hear it is the computer making noises at all? |
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Is it, perhaps, a Giant Chicken Soda Machine? |
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Something at Woodstock was pretty powerful, in any case... |
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This would be fun to use on the new janitor for the office late at night. Tell him ghost stories the previous morning about IBMs that are possessed by satan and Windows users who were sucked through there screens into a dimension of hell. |
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+ It's Friday afternoon here in New England, and I really need a "Fake Co-worker", as he left early.....
or I'm out of here. |
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I would prefer Fake Lover Background
Noise so my friends would be envious
when I call them from my cubicle when I'm
working late. |
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Poor, [xandram].... it's still Thursday! |
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I ordered background noise CD #4, "Tax assessor's office," but they sent me "Indian opium lab" instead. So I've been on the phone all day trying to get customer support. Meanwhile, the local FBI office, who swears they don't tap my phones, keep thinking up excuses to deliver stuff so they can snoop. I can't get any work done. The good news is, I now have three bouquets of flowers, four pizzas, and a random assortment of Amazon best-sellers. And I can say "hand me that bunsen burner" in Telugu. |
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Dammit, [IT] may just be right - if the Moon is roughly a quarter of a million miles away, then the sound of the Woodstock Festival, travelling at 760mph, would take over 27 days to make the round trip over that distance!
My God - after all these years, Tindale, you've cracked it. |
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Poor me is right! I had a fake co-worker, fake calendar, fake clock, and they must have missed me the next day, which was fake Saturday. |
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This gives me an idea.... even if it didnt, i like it. bread for you. |
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