h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Two opposing participants first flip a coin to see who goes
first.
They then take their positions 50' apart standing on a line
from which they cannot move.
The object of the game is to knock your opponent
unconscious with a 5 lb lump hammer/mallet before he has an
opportunity to do the
same to you.
T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't
http://en.wikipedia...rfs_%28Discworld%29
"Today is a good day for someone else to die !" [8th of 7, Aug 13 2010]
The Book of Heroic Failures
http://en.wikipedia..._of_Heroic_Failures
By Stphen PIle. [8th of 7, Aug 15 2010]
We can remember it for you wholesale.
http://en.wikipedia...t_for_You_Wholesale
We offer Total Recall ... [8th of 7, Aug 15 2010]
[link]
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Can you visualize how high you'd have to toss a five pound weight to get it to travel fifty feet? |
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This would do more than just 'lump your face'. |
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Another highly imaginative and entirely non-bleak notion that also completely succeeds not to have an underlying theme of abuse at its enthusiastic, optimistic, joyful and ultimately hope-filled core. |
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Brilliant - keep them coming smiley-chops! |
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I imagine this would be a short contest, resulting in a fatal head bursting conclusion, but I could be wrong, and you could prove me wrong [vfrackis]. |
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You could launch such a lump hammer into the air, then present your own head as its impact destination, whilst having a third party record the conclusion of the exercise on video. |
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...why not go all the way and make it a razor discus decapitator? [-] |
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What if, though, the hammer were made of spongy stuff and enormous? A couple of kilos of sponge landing on your head would be pretty harmless, wouldn't it? |
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50 feet is quite a distance. Would these hammers be hurled? With practice someone strong could throw a hammer 50 feet but if I were practicing that I would also practice deflecting incoming hammers with my hammer. |
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This would make for a pretty gruelling session of thrown and deflected hammers. The only way to salvage the situation would be a team sport, which then becomes like Dodgeball. |
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It could be less terminal too: allow helmets and padding, various sizes of thrown mallets, which now are rubber and squirt a gout of paint on impact. |
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// before he has an opportunity to do the same to you // |
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But with each throw he *has* the opportunity. So, as described, the first guy gets a throw, then, if the other guy is not knocked out, the game MUST be over. |
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// It could be less terminal too // |
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You're no fun any more ... |
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This has all the makings of a superb Highland Games event. Violent, brutal, painful, pointless. |
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//lump hammer// sp. Molotov Cocktail. |
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// a superb Highland Games event // |
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I was trying really hard to not say that this would be popular with drunken Scots .... |
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Scots do not need to be drunk to enjoy throwing hammers at one another. Or indeed anyone else; no wonder the English ran at Bannockburn. |
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For this one I throw a bone. [-] |
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//superb Highland Games event// |
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<resists posting javelin caber toss> |
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The ideal defensive implement would of course be a coal shovel. |
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A pistol duel with hammers instead of pistols. Or a long-
range version of Irish stand-down. |
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Similar in concept to "Logic," a game in which two men (no
gender-neutral pronoun, here), start at opposite ends of the
playing field, and run towards each other, in a crouch,
butting heads. If both are able to stand afterwards, they
repeat the process, until one isn't. The winner is then
challenged by someone from the crowd of onlookers. |
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You obviously enjoyed your stay in West Virginia, [mp]. |
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Pistol duel is more of a Northern Virginia thing, [8th]. "Logic"
and, surprisingly, "Irish stand-down" are played on entirely
different planets. |
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And the West Virginians I've met haven't been particularly
brutal, by the way. |
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Wasn't there some intellectual back in the 1800s who was challenged to a duel, and suggested blacksmiths hammers at one pace? |
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(Another guy was challenged, and suggested eating sausages, one with anthrax, one without.) |
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I have met with some great hospitality in West Virginia, by the way. |
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"For many years the duel fought between Sir Hierome Sankey and Sir William Petty in 1645 was without equal. The dispute arose in London over a matter of honour now lost in the mists of time. Sir Hierome was a tough character and Sir William, being of a nervous disposition, was reluctant to fight him. Since Sir Hierome had initiated the duel, Sir William had the choice of venue and weapons. Brilliantly, he chose a pitch-dark cellar and two carpenters' axes which neither of them could lift. " |
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That was it. Thanks, [8th]. Even better than I remembered. |
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We can remember it for you wholesale. |
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And from this unlikely chain of circumstances I learned that there is a remake of "Total Recall" in filming now that is scheduled to be released in the fall of 2012. That should be fun. |
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Yeah... Hollywood is going green, recycling garbage
instead of just throwing it away. |
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Hey, that started out as a Phillip K. Dick story - one of the mindfuck fiction masters. |
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// recycling garbage instead of just throwing it away // |
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That must be the reason that Leonardo di Caprio still gets work in the movies ... |
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[norm], nobody could be a bigger fan of Philip K. Dick than
I
am (well, probably _someone_ could), but the key words
there are "started out as". The movie 'Johnny Mnemonic'
started out as a cinematic version of the eponymous short
story by William Gibson (who is also well nigh a god to
me), but even Henry Rollins in 2nd male lead couldn't save
that atrocity. |
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