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Fabergé Leg
You never know when it might come in handy. | |
Body modification and piercing seems to be the done
thing these days, so it only makes sense to do it better
than anyone else.
Here at UBCo, we've negotiated the rights to fabricate
fabulous Fabergé Legs, similar to the famous, fabulous
Fabergé eggs but designed to replace part or all of one
of your lower limbs with a jewel-encrusted (or not),
gorgeously handcrafted travelling compartment in which
one might keep valuables, documents or priceless
mementoes of your travels and travails.
Hidden inside your clothing, it keeps your valuables from
public view. If you choose the more discreet, carbon
fibre version you look to the casual observer, like any
other amputee who has managed to get a decent quality
prosthesis fitted, to enable personal mobility.
Of course, this process may involve having to sacrifice
part of an already serviceable limb. Sorry.
Order now and we'll throw in our 18K personalised Hip
Flask.
Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg
Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg
[zen_tom, Apr 16 2012]
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Annotation:
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Welcome back, [UnaBubba]! |
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<insert obvious 'hollow leg' joke here> |
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Somewhere to store your jammy luck. |
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Seem to recollect someone with a false leg with water and tropical fish in it, in "Tiger Tiger", the book. |
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I know a double amputee who flaunts her prosthetic legs - last year's paint job was black with purple metalflake star scenes; I haven't yet seen what she's chosen for this year. She wears shorts; enjoys unsettling people. |
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A friend who has lost a leg was learning to ski in
Val d'Isère, and not doing so well at it. Later that
evening he came down to the bar and his Canadian
ski instructor was regaling everyone with a ribald
account of how clumsy he was and how he'd fallen
many times doing his lesson. |
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Helmut was wearing shorts and a lightweight
prosthetic leg. Apparently the laughter dried up
very quickly, everyone staring pointedly at the
now scarlet instructor. Helmut bought the guy a
drink. |
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//A friend who has lost a leg was learning to ski in Val d'Isère,// Aha, one didn't cause the other, my poor comprehension skills. |
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I was going to do the Cook and Moore wannabe Tarzan amputee joke, but I have something against it. |
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Needs more Jam. And Bees. |
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True, but I can't stand banjoes. |
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Try leaning them in a corner. |
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Q. What have a Banjo Solo and premature ejaculation
got in common? |
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A. You know when both of them are coming and
there's not a damned thing you can do about it. |
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You can squeeze hard just behind the head. That stops the strings from vibrating. |
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I guess I should have seen that coming. |
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I just reread this one. Kinda dark. |
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I believe that was your "film noir" period if memory serves. |
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//I just reread this one. Kinda dark.// |
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Really ? I went from "Faberge leg" to "Faberge codpiece" in pretty well nothing flat, then to Steampunk (Faberge) codpiece, at which point things fell apart, rather fast. |
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On a mostly unrelated note, I'm wondering if there's an HB-rated psychologist. |
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