h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Is your house plagued with roaches, termites, and spiders? Do you find it difficult to exterminate the rats and mice living behind your walls?
Then you would greatly benefit from a visit from the Army Ant Exterminator.
It's quite simple. The house is sealed. A truck pulls up, carrying a million-plus
colony of Army Ants.
A hose is attached from the truck to the house.
In go the Ants. They quickly devour every living creature in the house (and, incidentally, any left-overs or crumbs laying around the kitchen.)
The Queen, of course, remains in the truck. And, after satiating themselves, the Ants instinctively return to the truck, carrying with them every pest carcass, leaving your house spotless.
No nasty chemicals.
No odors.
100% effective.
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keep 'em off the halfbakery cake for gawd's sake. |
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don't youz gawd's nayme in vayne. |
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no, me either... hey wait a minute... that dog over there looks like he's lost... |
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Oh, welcome [lurq]. Great first post. |
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Sounds like a business Dr. Phibes would've got into, had he not been so preoccupied with other matters.+ |
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What's to keep them from coming back on their day off? when I'm home...? |
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Didn't I used to have a leather couch? |
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I can just imagine waking up in the middle of the night with half of my leg eaten off by the few rebel ants that stayed behind for the afterparty. |
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I thought ants left droppings, I could be wrong. Welcome
to the HB! |
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They're very tiny little things. Just vacuum. If it wasn't eaten. |
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I just hope they send in the Carpenter Ants to put things right again, after all the hostilities have concluded. |
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Perhaps, but your house will be clean as a freshly-eaten whistle. |
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Just don't *introduce* Red ants....ouch! |
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Issue the ants with thread and they could use their mandibles to darn your socks and sew on any missing buttons. +
(WTAGIPBAN) |
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Yeah, welcome [lurquer]. At last... a newcomer with a sensible idea! (+) |
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<scenes of horror as the colony finds the chalk in my daughter's desk. Ant wrangler sues for damages, SPCA jails me for causing agonising slow dehydration death of a million plus ants> |
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Seems like a reasonable idea. It would be really great if you could do a whole apartment house at one time. The ants would have to be conditioned to be as impervous to most insecticides as are the roaches and other little critters. |
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I have a book, "Common Sense Pest Control" in which the author describes digging up a fire ant nest, dumping it in a box, and setting the box in his basement near where he found a termite colony. The ants took care fo the termites. |
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and then proceeded to decimate the countryside from their root cellar stronghold. |
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