Exploding Toilet Seat

Of all the amenities available in a home, the toilet is arguably the most versatile, and yet, ironically, it presents certain dangers. This is evidenced by the recent spate of toilet related ideas here at the half-bakery (see link "spate").

For toddlers and small children, there is the danger of falling in. For really sleepy people who don't notice the seat is up, there is the danger of falling in. For people vomiting, there is the danger of hair getting someplace where we don't want it to be. For people discarding really, really gross moldy food from the refridgerator (useful if you don't have a garbage disposal) there is the danger of splattering really gross stuff. For men there is the danger of splashing. For everyone else, there is the danger of men splashing. And finally, but not least importantly, for cats who have been trained to use the toilet instead of a litter box, there is the danger that the toilet seat would be left in the wrong configuration, thereby necessitating creativity on the part of the cat (an undesirable trait in cats).

We need the multi-function Exploding Toilet Seat. This toilet seat takes all of the above uses into account, and the danger associated with each is considered and managed. For toddlers and small children, there is a child-sized training seat configuration, complete with steps by which to reach the infantile throne. For sleepy people, the electric eye mounted in the base unit (the part that's always down) will trigger an audible alarm when it detects something posterier sized breaking the plane of the rim of the bowl. There is an anti-splatter hood which has a smaller opening for splash-free disposing of yucky food. The anti-splatter hood is also useful for vomiting, as it prevents hair or hats, etc. from falling into the toilet. There is, of course, a convenient splash guard for men. The whole thing is programmable and uses voice-recognition to resume your preferred mode when you enter the bathroom. This enables the cat to engage the non-skid, low-aspect seat with smaller cutout with her customary tentative meow, should kitty discover that someone left the lid down. The entire contraption folds away neatly into the gap left by the high-mounted water tank.

There are many challenges and dangers arising from everyday toilet use. It is best to meet them with a veritable profusion--nay, an explosion of features.