h a l f b a k e r yCompound disinterest.
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Now that we've asked the rest of Europe to leave the EU,
it's perhaps a good time to look at our own borders now
that we're regaining control over them.
Knocking-through into adjoining countries is, nowadays,
frowned upon (Germany, for instance, was severely
frowned at a few decades ago).
We therefore need to be
more imaginative.
This brings to mind a rather small office which I once had
to use. The desk-space was minute, but it did have two
pull-out sections, rather like drawers, which could be used
to provide additional workspace.
Clearly, these pull-out sections could be used with
advantage to increase the size of the UK. Much of the
southern end of England is composed of chalk, which exists
in more-or-less horizontal strata. It should not be beyond
the wit of man to dig out horizontal spaces above and
below one suitably thick stratum, and then to cut around
the edges. The result would be a large area of land which
could be slid out, over the English channel, whenever we
have guests over or if we need a little additional space.
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Or, right, how about we build dams across the Irish sea between Northern Ireland and Great Britain - from the north to the Mull of Kintyre, and from the south, to Anglesey (and its small channel to the mainland). |
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A spot of pumping, and we'd have... a big hole, which would solve our landfill shortage problems for years to come.
As it fills, cap it off, make good... |
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Better as a tidal barrage for power generation. |
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// solve our landfill shortage problems // |
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Don't be silly. There are no "landfill shortage problems". That's what wales is for. |
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^ "That's what wales is for." |
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I've had the MaxCo. engineers working on this one. |
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We've made a 1:1 scale model that seems to work
pretty well. We've used the Isle of Wight as a
release button - when you push it down, the whole
250-mile-wide slab slides out from the White
Cliffs. We've got dampers on it, so it feels really
smooth instead of going badoing. For retract, you
just push the whole slab back in until it clicks, and
the Isle of Wight pops up again. Apparently there's
a bit of sloshing on the French side, but
fortunately we don't care. |
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One of our engineers wanted to turn it into a giant
CD platter, but we stopped him just in time. |
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Could we not iron the country flat and put it on stilts to
make it huge while avoiding flooding? I suggested something
like that a while back on here. |
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//iron the country flat// No no no. The existing
textured surface looks much classier, even if it does
tend to trap dust in the crevices. It's like the
difference between real leather and artificial. |
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Obviously, the effect can be overdone. Parts of
Nepal and Switzerland, for example, just look like
they're trying too hard. |
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Nothing says you cannot create your own themed additional
land. China has created an island that looks like a bottle
opener, while Qatar has long been creating palm tree- and
modern art- land. |
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Baked! China and the mideast spring to mind; why not the UK? |
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//Could we not iron the country flat and// |
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This would make a mockery of the hill start component of
the driving test. If you start removing irrelevant or
unnecessary activities that remain only to irritate
teenagers and the foreign, you really start to degrade what
Britain is all about. |
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// the hill start component of the driving test // |
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How do they do that in the Netherlands, then ? |
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They don't. This is why the Netherlands is so populated;
they've never been able to climb out once inside.
Something about negotiating non-horizontal surfaces when
you're on one of the many legal drugs there. |
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Oh, please someone calculate the area of the UK if we bulldozed it to 5m above sea level. |
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[MaxwellBuchanan] Norway won an award for it's fjords. |
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[8th of 7] They have a dyke start... |
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I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you [marklar].
Neither of those halfbakers are with us anymore. |
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