h a l f b a k e r yThe leaning tower of Piezo
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Scotland wants to leave - fine, bugger off. Miserable whiny scrounging jocks, get lost.
That leaves a space at the table.
Now, the Dutch aren't keen on the EU. They are are pleasant enough bunch (for foreigners) and have a Royal family. Therefore, there is no reason why a dynastic marriage can't
be arranged, and the Netherlands could become part of the UK. After all, anyone who hates the Germans nearly as much as the British can't be all bad.
Norway isn't EU either, and likewise has a Royal family. They fought like tigers in WW2 so are clearly worth having on side. See above, as per Holland.
Belgium .... err, no.
France - well, Calais should be returned to the Crown forthwith. Anjou, Poitiers, Burgundy and Aquitaine are under consideration, and would be ruled from the Channel Isles, just to rub it in.
Spain ? Well, maybe Gibraltar could annexe Spain. It would be useful as somewhere to park the caravan. But not Portugal ... Portugal is an old ally against the french.
Other applications will be considered on their individual merits.
Clear_20UK_20national_20debt_2e
[calum, Jun 24 2016]
remain/leave referendum results by area
https://commons.wik...16_area_results.svg
[Loris, Jun 24 2016]
London ndependence Party
https://twitter.com/LdnIndependence
Please gods yes ;D [Skewed, Jun 25 2016]
Dublin IFSC
http://www.ifsc.ie/page.aspx?idpage=6
With a lower corporation tax (12.5%); full EU membership; great international airport and property that's less than half the price of London.... why stay in a city that's peaked and is now on its way down when you can move to one its way up? [xenzag, Jun 25 2016]
Declare London independant
https://www.change....pply-to-join-the-eu
the actual petition [Skewed, Jun 25 2016]
Why we joined the EU
http://youtu.be/37iHSwA1SwE
[Ling, Jun 26 2016]
Hong Kong
http://www.rfa.org/...03142013141313.html
[Ling, Jun 26 2016]
[link]
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//...anyone who hates the Germans nearly as much as the British can't be all bad.// |
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Hold on, we hate the Germans? |
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Also, I'm enjoying the concept of the Borg driving a caravan. |
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// we hate the Germans? // |
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I find it odd that Scotland voted so strongly in favor of
remaining in the EU but it was such a nailbiter to leave the
UK. |
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// I find it odd that Scotland voted so strongly in favor of remaining in the EU but it was such a nailbiter to leave the UK //
One of the central planks of the 2014 "No" campaign was that independence would jeopardise Scotland's membership of the EU. Thanks a bunch, England and Wales. |
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// Thanks a bunch, England and Wales. // |
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You're welcome. It was a pleasure. |
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Now piss off, and take Gordon Brown with you. |
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//Looking at that map, it appears to be all Gibraltar’s fault.// |
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Hmm. The colour scheme on that map is crap. Gibraltar were _staunchly_ Remain (4.1% leave)
It actually looks like only the giant's causeway is anywhere near close to as european as them. |
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I dithered over whether to use the two-tone version, but in the end decided that it lost information about the closeness of the result in some areas. |
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//Thanks a bunch, England and Wales// - I think you mean
"Thanks a bunch, England (excluding London) and Wales" |
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That's a fair point, hippo, though I am running on post-factual sentiment at the mo. |
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Re Gordon Brown, the personal upside for him is that he is no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister. |
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not one of mine, the division of in / out between Scotland & the rest of the UK accept Northern Ireland & London is pretty stark though |
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Scotland asking for a fresh crack at that vote would be perfectly reasonable in light of it - same Island so I'd prefer you stay though |
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Same for Northern Ireland - this one makes more sense to me the other way round but it'd be up to them |
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Not sure what to do about London.. |
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//no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister// -
there's a good chance that the competition for that
particular prize will be thrown wide open this autumn.
[Skewed] Obviously, N.I, Scotland and London
unite to form a new country, "ScotNiLon" and stay in the
EU. |
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[hippo] I like it - completely landlocked with no coastal waters of it's own, think of the tariffs we could squeeze from London for every necessity that crosses its borders ;D |
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so we divide London between ScotNiLon & EngWalCorn on that basis then [Ian] |
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which means you get the banking & financial sectors [calum] but we bleed them dry with tariffs ;P |
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We should split London up like a new Berlin. And Wales
could be like the West Bank. Are we going to have to start
flying in supplies to Londoners behind the wall? |
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nope - that would be infringing on EngWalCorn's airspace & we wouldn't allow it, we want our border tariffs thank you very much |
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//Funnily, it is only the east and west of London that voted to stay in — a vertical stripe through the centre didn’t.// |
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That's why the leave campaign won : Blockbuster rules. |
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I think Cameron should give a parting speech: "From
Lancaster near the Irish Sea to Margate on the Channel, an
Iron Curtain has descended across the island..." |
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//completely landlocked with no coastal waters of it's
own, think of the tariffs we could squeeze from London//
- but London's got a natural and easily defensible
border, the M25, and so has a major airport in its
territory. |
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London airport will be annexed & put back to grazing - defensible borders cut both ways |
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So when you dig up the Chunnel,
1) where are you going to put it?
2) what are you going to call it? |
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Skew Construction Ltd is already tendering for the contract |
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1. Our proposal tender involves leaving it precisely where it is, we'll just plug the French end with concrete |
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2. We will repurpose it with windows so the areas many fine examples of silt can be viewed & call it the Chunnel Silt Aquarium |
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//1) where are you going to put it?
2) what are you going to call it?// |
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MaxCo. has already made a very attractive offer
for the Eurotunnel. |
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We are in discussions with the French about some
minor modifications to their end regarding
elevation and angle. The existing main-line rail
tracks will be supplemented with rail scavenged
from the service track, and re-fixed to form a long
helix. At the English end, we plan to fit an
enormous breech-block and firing mechanism. |
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Umm.. ah, sorry, we'd already got started when I got this letter informing me MaxCo had won the tender.. |
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jumped the gun a bit there |
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we'll just leave this concrete here then shall we, I'm sure it won't take you too long to unplug it |
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// he is no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister // |
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... nor ever was. That particular accolade goes to
Clem Attlee. |
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// Not sure what to do about London.. // |
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Hmmm .... call the Luftwaffe and ask if they're busy. |
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// We should split London up like a new Berlin. // |
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We should split London up like a new Hiroshima. |
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// And Wales could be like the West Bank. // |
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Where are you going to find the money to fund the massive improvement programme ? |
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// Are we going to have to start flying in supplies to Londoners behind the wall? // |
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No. Just let them eat one another. |
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// London's got a natural and easily defensible border, the M25,// |
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It's an artificial border, but yes, thankfully it's defensible. A few lorryloads of razor wire will keep them in. |
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// and so has a major airport in its territory. // |
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... supplied with fuel by pipeline. Oh dear. |
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// So when you dig up the Chunnel,
1) where are you going to put it? // |
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The first available EU commissioner. Sideways. Without lubrication. |
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// 2) what are you going to call it? // |
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// At the English end, we plan to fit an enormous breech-block and firing mechanism. // |
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And there was much rejoicing. |
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// we'll just leave this concrete here then shall we, I'm sure it won't take you too long to unplug it // |
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No, that's absolutely fine. It will do nicely for the first proofing shot. |
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you know we were talking about London independence earlier.. well we're not the only ones |
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they don't appear to have considered the possible travel, trade & tariff ramifications of an EU enclave in a non EU UK |
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London should simply purchase the entire city of Dublin as an EU investment property, then they wouldn't have to worry when all of those banking HQs shift to Dublin. (which I believe they will, to remain in the EU) - see link. |
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found it [link] - it was started as a joke, a lot of people seem to be taking it seriously though |
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I'm almost inclined to sign the thing, would love to hear the squeals as they see the wall go up & hear what tariffs we'll be charging ;P |
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I just signed the petition to make London
independent. From here in Cambridge it looks like
an excellent idea. |
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I also think somebody should approach change.org
about their internet bill, and offer them a better
deal. You are given the option to donate £3 to
change.org, which will allow them to "show the
petition to 20 potential supporters". Even if they
email each person individually, that seems a little
expensive. |
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A good way to expand the UK is inflate it. I'm not sure where you plug the air hose, somewhere near the center to get even expansion, maybe Sheffield? You could go until you bump into the north of France. This would have the effect of making every place in UK farther from every other place, which might be desirable. |
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My dad's birthday was yesterday and I'm reminded of
something he said about England once. As a child I had
asked him about post empire England, specifically, now that
all their colonies were gone, what resources were
they left with. His answer was "The English." |
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I think you guys will do fine post EU membership. All
civilization is facing challenges at this point in history but
the English have stood up to challenges before. |
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It is very odd that we tend to root for former Soviet-
bloc countries seeking independence, or for
Catalonians or Basques who feel they're entitled to
their own self-determination. Yet when the UK
decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected
heads meeting in another country, people don't get
it. |
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//decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected
heads
meeting in another country// |
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Hmm. Where have I heard that before? ;) Welcome
to the
club brother. |
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I strikes me that about 70 years ago the western
world
got together to fight against a gigantic, powerful,
centralized government entity that would rule the
entire
world with an iron fist. It's like if the bad guys built
an all
powerful robot ten miles tall and set it on
"destroy", and
after we defeated it, we decided that what we
really
needed was a ten mile tall all powerful robot
whose
programming we'd tweak a little bit. I don't see
why we
need the damned thing at all. |
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No matter if you set the controls to "Destroy" or
"Soothe
and Caress". Even if we build this thing (all
powerful
global government) and have it mincing around the
world
planting daisies, who's to say the next generation
of folks
running the thing won't say "Hey, did you see that
this
thing has a "Destroy everything in its path." switch? |
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I personally don't feel the need to rule anybody but
myself, so I feel little sympathy for those that feel
the
need to rule over as many people as possible. Sorry
Brussels, cry me a river. |
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//decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected heads//
How does this message read: "Germans want to make sure
that the UK receives no favours in exit negotiations to act
as a warning to other countries who dare to consider
escaping from the EU." Didn't they try that once or twice
before? |
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How about federalising the UK (guess what we'd call it, maybe we could just toss a "Union" on the end of the title for good measure). |
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1. Set up a new federal parliament in Wales (they'll like that, & if the central parliament isn't in England the Scots might stop bitching at us so much). |
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2. Negotiate Irelands exit from the EU to join us (they might go for it just to protect their meat trade, we're their biggest customer after all, as an added advantage we could hand back the North & draw a line under that whole sorry affair). |
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3. Ireland, Scotland & Wales keep their parliaments, Cornwall gets it's own as does North, South, East & West England (this is tactical so the Scots won't know who their supposed to hate). |
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We're a bigger trade partner for Scotland than the rest of the EU combined & we share a land border so it makes sense to keep them, but we may have to bully them a bit to make them accept.. anyone know where the Tridents are ("the Scots have them?, well get them back!") |
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4. Set up a competing trade block with the Dutch, Norway & anyone else that seems useful, or available (we can throw it's headquarters to the Scots, it'll be more central, might help persuade them to abandon the EU & isn't going to have any real power anyway). |
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This is mostly just so we can add that "Union" on the end of our new name of course. |
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Any that are really worth it will obviously be invited to join the Federal United Kingdom instead of the FUK-U. |
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Naturally being in at the start we can make sure it's done right this time, none of that free movement of people rubbish. |
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5. London we boot out, the EU can keep it, pop the damn wall up & start taxing them through the nose for every last erg of power, water, gas, food & any other supplies we deliver, we can probably set a zero tax for the rest of us off the back of that (& if nothing else sells the whole rotten idea to the Scots that'll be the clincher). |
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I think that's about it really. |
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//London we boot out, the EU can keep it// No no,
not that! We'd lose all of our bankers, most of our
politicians, a huge number of senior managers of one
sort or another, not to mention... OK, go for it. |
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sorry [calum], none of that was targeted at you :) |
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Of course we may get a few things wrong with the new union to start with so we'll start with a beta version to identify any kinks which will be replaced after four years with a new one incorporating any identified improvements. |
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Naturally, the second one will be called the Federal United Kingdom Union v.2 (FUK-U2). |
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Historical Curiosity: in 1933, the state of Western Australia
voted, in a referendum, to secede from Australia, but then
failed to follow through. No-one noticed. |
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