h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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So most people have their bathrooms secluded at the back of the house, with a shower-curtain, frosted glass window and possibly trees to protect their modesty.
But for those who may not have hideous deformities and/or don't care about what others can see, why not a nice ground-floor bathroom with
a wall-to-wall window onto the street?
Well, one reason is because the law says you're not to show off your intimate bits willy-nilly.
For these people, I have the answer to their prayers.
The Exhibitionist Censoring Window comprises a glass wall containing a grid array of approx 10x10cm LCD pixels, an inwards-facing digital cctv setup and moderate amount of processing power (broadly comparable to a current-gen games console).
The system analyses the CC image and blacks out only those pixels which cover the illegal exposure.
Due to parallax, the external viewing angle is restricted.
However, the deluxe version has pairs of both inwards and outwards-facing imagers, with further processing grunt, and is capable of triangulating positions of both exhibitee and external viewer. It can thus determine which pixels are necessarily opaque for even multiple external viewers.
[link]
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For the non-deluxe version, basically the entire
window has to be opaque. You might get a few
inches around the edges that aren't, but that's it. If
you assume a height limit on viewers, then it's only a
strip, but still. |
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Along way from "Silhouettes on the shade". |
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Provide theater seating and popcorn for passer by ? |
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Premium version pixelates more than is strictly
necessary, for those showerers who are insecure,
habitual exaggerators or just delusional. |
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And for those who want to show their jiggly bits but still remain anonymous, just the little bar across the eyes. |
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Censoring software has been attempted many times.
It's always turned out that there just isn't enough
processing power to do it. Maybe a gaming console
from the year 2020. |
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//For the non-deluxe version, basically the entire window has to be opaque.// |
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I might not have got the description quite right due to a distraction during composition, I will revise the text. |
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//Censoring software has been attempted many times. It's always turned out that there just isn't enough processing power to do it.// |
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Other censoring software is generally being asked to do a different job : Is this random image pornographic?
This software doesn't need to do that, it just needs to determine where humans are in an image of a known view, and cover the appropriate bits. That is considerably easier and games on some consoles already do similar. |
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// for those who may not have hideous deformities // |
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May we point out that the proportion of the total population that look even vaguely pleasant when unclothed is actually quite small ? |
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With augmented reality we could throw in TikTok filters and real time editing for digital cosmetic surgery. |
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The modesty bar can be replaced with the swimsuit of your choice and everyone can be beautiful in their public display shower. |
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We're going to need bigger processors with more speed than originally budgeted for. |
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To answer [8th]'s point, perhaps instead this technology should be used not just to conceal your nakedness but instead to replace it with fake imagery of you, making your naked form look stunningly attractive. |
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Did I not just say that ;) |
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[Wanders to the closet to retrieve his Dandini costume] |
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[Puts it on and spends some time applying the makeup] |
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[Wanders back and strikes a theatrical pose] |
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I'm pleased to notice that a gaming console from 2020 did have enough processing power to do this, just barely. |
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Why not just have one-way mirror glass, with the mirrored side facing the street, so that the bather can see out but outsiders can't see in (unless they press their noses up against the glass....which would make them look suspicious, not the bather). |
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//Why not just have one-way mirror glass, with the mirrored side facing the street, so that the bather can see out but outsiders can't see in // |
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Because:
a) This is for exhibitionists, not claustrophobics.
b) One-way glass isn't actually one-way; it doesn't work like that. You'd need to maintain a significantly higher light level outside for the obscuring effect to work. That isn't impossible, of course. I suppose you could use external lighting for the bathroom - if that was what you wanted. |
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