Evil Mall

Hidden away from prying eyes in a hollowed out mountain on a remote jungle island; the location of which is only known by a handful of the world's most diabolical men is the evil shopping mall.

Contained within is everything that the self-respecting madman could desire. For the aspiring overlord; Evil Realty can offer you a myriad of secret lairs ranging from dark castles to underground caverns. Don't even have a villainous costume? Visit the Diabolical Designs clothing store for all your cape, mask and eyepatch needs.

Of course there is also the Generally Evil Stores for all your basic evil needs. Guns, grenades, imposing thrones and complicated doomsday devices are all under one roof.

Every evil leader needs a good appearance and the most important part of this is the haircut. Bald head not shiny enough? There is polish. Not bald? That can be fixed. Don't want to be? No-one will understand why but they can even deal with that. Visit the Barbarous Barbers, right next door to the pet shop where the only domestic animals to be found are fluffy white cats.

Try the Evil Corner Book shop where they have such classic titles as "Dominance for Dummies" and "Chicken Soup for the Evil Soul". Or go to the job centre where there are literally thousands of out-of-work minions, mercenarys and disaffected scientists.

There is also a Starbucks.