h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Nothing will make most men (and some gals) giggle more than erotic gags.
I propose novelty erotic pencil sharpeners, available in both 'vagina' and 'arse' models for all orientations. Imagine the looks you'll get around the office when you plunge your [long, hard, stiff] pencil into one of these babies.
Use
your imagination...
nose
http://www.stupid.com/stat/NOPE.html
for if you have a fetish? [zeno, May 15 2006]
(?) Dickie, Koochie, and Boobie Pencil Sharpner
http://www.sextoyse...mple&pnum=PD5090-00
This is just wrong. [jutta, May 16 2006]
Vagina Dentata
http://www.rotten.c...sex/vagina-dentata/
Courtesy Sigmund Freud, though apparently the underlying anxiety goes back much further in time. [DrCurry, May 16 2006]
Halfbakery: Anti-Rape
Anti-Rape
Psst, over here. [jutta, May 16 2006]
If you think cats are sexy
http://www.prankpla...X4LQCFeiPPAodWQcAGw
[Kansan101, Jan 11 2013]
[link]
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I was picturing just the hole parts and surrounding areas, but if these are successful then next year we can introduce bent-over whole-body versions. |
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Definitely automatic sharpeners for the hole-only versions, but the whole-body versions could use an arm as a crank. |
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Just don't try and sharpen your finger. |
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I did see an 'arse' pencil sharpener once while I was shopping in a tourist-junk store in Florida, but I could not find a link depicting said arse. It was cheap plastic and gross. |
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That'll put lead in your pencil. |
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Given that the imagery of sticking your pencil into a vagina/ass is crossed with sticking your dick into a pencil sharpener - erk, no thanks! |
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Love it. Massproduce it become rich. |
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Can I have one that sharpens in your eye? |
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A modification if this could spark an idea for a new brand of female "anti-rape" condoms. oh god imagine how painful that would be, especially if its an electric pencil sharpener. OUCH. |
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And exactly how would you fit an electronic pencil in there?! No, second thoughts, please do not tell me. |
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[Curiosity] Oh, how evil. (I mean rape is also, but i dunno.) I had no idea someone has made or is thinking of making those. I thought they were just in Sci Fi books. |
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just the thing for my erotic pencils. |
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Like [DrC], I am uncomfortable with the idea of a vagina containing very sharp blades. Doesn't sound very "erotic" to me. |
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[phlish] you're definitely not wrong :) |
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Thanks for all the feedback everyone. I *love* [ldischler]'s eyedea! |
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[Zimmy] I'm remembering a bit in Snow Crash where the girl relies on something I think she called a 'dentata'. Basically something like this only with a needle filled with a drug that puts the rapist to sleep. |
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Ah yes, the old vagina dentata. (As in the song, "Give 'em the ol' vagina dentataaaaaa!") |
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The idea itself, though, is a manifestation of the schoolroom gag
Questioner: "Have you got a pencil sharpener?"
Helpful Boy Victim: "Yes"
Questioner: "Aahahahahaha! You've got a fanny!" said Questioner having noticed, or at least having had brought to his attention, that a penis goes into a fanny like a pencil goes into a pencil sharpener. I don't think this idea is much of an improvement on that joke. |
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[calum] More of that famous British humour I guess? |
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Very frightening title - actual invention a slight anticlimax? |
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Some lurker should snap this up as a moniker as quick as possible. YES YOU, WHO HAVE NOT OBTAINED A MONIKER ON THE HB YET! |
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it reminds me of an old "Carrol Burnet show" movie parody skit.
it was a spoof of one of those films about a song writer, who needed music paper and a pencil. Carrol pulls them both out of her dress. the writer say that the pencil is't sharp. She sticks the pencil in her cleavage, and we hear an electric pencil sharpener sound. |
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The women will take over the world when all the men are standing around all day with their dongs stuck in pencil sharpeners. |
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Followed shortly by the extinction of the human race. |
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The women don't need the vast majority of us menfolk. 999 out of every thousand could be removed from the breeding pool and not reduce the numbers in the next generation much. |
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I am assuming that each thousand women could manage to keep one man away from the erotic pencil sharpeners. |
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See link. Reminds me of funny cat sharpener that meows when used. |
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