Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Ergocomic Keyboard

When QWERTY isn't inefficient enough
  (+6)
(+6)
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When you see a totally screwed-up looking keyboard, don't you automatically assume it must be more ergonomically healthy?

Well, my idea is to build a totally ridiculous keyboard, write on the packaging that it's the most comfortable keyboard you can use -- just try it for 30 days and see --, sell it for $200, and then watch millions of them fly off the shelves.

This keyboard would feature all the crappy letters (Q, Z, X, W) right in the middle of the keyboard, and the good letters are up in the number bar or slightly off to the side. We will say that it's because your fingers need to stretch morein order to stay healthy.

There will also be several ALT, Windows, and TAB keys right in the center where you will need to constantly dodge them while you are typing. Half of the keyboard will be at a right angle to the other half, pointing straight up and down. The spacebar will be at the back of the keyboard, to keep the user from getting "repetitive thumb utilization syndrome (RETUS)"

The keys can be slid around into different configurations (like those square puzzles with tiles numbered 1 to 15); however, none of the positions will be any more comfortable. Typing more than 10 words per minute will cause an "Ergonomic Safety Warning" LED to light up.

phundug, Apr 16 2003

[link]






       Yes, you'll be laughing right up until the product liability attorneys come calling.
DrCurry, Apr 16 2003
  

       I especially like the idea of the sliding puzzle keys +
bristolz, Apr 16 2003
  

       Sounds like fun. Try introducing this to unsuspecting users and watch insanity ensue.
Parvenu, Apr 16 2003
  

       + because it's hilarious. I like the LED idea.
-----, Jan 08 2004
  

       Sell it for less in joke shops to pass liability to the purchaser and intended prankster. Rubber biscuit and fart powder manufacturers seem to be safe.
stilgar, Aug 28 2004
  

       Can I get one of these for my office? Please? *light* Damn! Gotta stop working...
shapu, Aug 29 2004
  

       I think you'd be hard pushed to actually make it more irritating than most real keyboards (especially those ergonomic ones that make you have to use your left hand for the letter "b" when I always use my right hand) but the moment you put that little LED on it, I'm buying one! :)   

       (flour, egg, water, etc.)++   

       oh, and [DrCurry], lighten up, eh? :)
SammyTheSnake, Oct 29 2004
  

       I like this, especially the vertical part.   

       Perhaps keys could represent multiple different letters, and change depending on the last one typed. Then it would become nearly impossible to type anything you meant, without keeping track of half a dozen flickering state LEDs.
Thod, Oct 29 2004
  
      
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