h a l f b a k e r yChewable.
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This is a movie theatre that has special seats designed to deliver any number of specialized enemas for your colon cleansing pleasure.
Meanwhile, movies especially picked to take your mind off the procedure are playing, such as "Freddie Got Fingered (By The Mob)", "Fire Down Below", "Popeye" and
"Don't Look Now", with many more titles playing each week.
Ask about our franchise opportunities!
here's a whole shit-load of movies that will work!
http://letterboxd.c...like-shitliterally/
[xandram, Oct 01 2012]
The Road to Wellville
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111001/
William Lightbody: "Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt". Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: "Oh, it's not going in that end, Mr. Lightbody." [Klaatu, Oct 02 2012]
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Annotation:
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It takes a special type of mind to dream this stuff up. |
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On second thought... No, I'm sticking with 'special'. |
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Before even browsers existed, I was reading Usenet as one is wont to do, and someone posted about a stomach upset advert which showed an unhappy couple leaving a movie theatre, but there was no title on the marquee. So...what was the name of the movie? |
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Names I remember:
"A river runs through it"
"The big easy" |
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Do not GoLightly into that good night
Old arses burn and strain at close of day;
Rage, rage against the colonoscopic light. |
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Though wise men at their ends know not to fight,
Because their mouths had forked no supper they
Do not GoLightly into that good night. |
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With apologies to the ghost of Dylan Thomas, long may he
haunt us. |
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Our Motto: The Ends Justify The Means! |
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Oooh look, Road To Wellville is playing. |
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They're not going to make us sit on stools are they? |
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"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors
off!" |
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"The Lord Of The Ringpieces" |
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//They're not going to make us sit on stools are they?// |
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Au, Contraire, [2 fries]! These are the finest modified theatre seats that money can buy on sale and at wholesale prices heavily discounted. The custom plumbed hardware in the center of the seat is even replaced with brass fixtures for the showing of the movie "Goldfinger." You'll feel stirred, not shaken. |
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More a case of "Doctor, Nooooooo! " |
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I've been to one of these places, and I have to say
that the picture quality was awful. I think the
projectionist was just going through the motions. |
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I feel a strong urge to express my understanding that colon cleansing is a bunch of hooey. |
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On the occasions that I have felt an enema would be useful for clearing blockages, the last two things I wanted were anything prodding about my sensitive areas, and to be sitting upright. |
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Dr. StrangeGlove or: How I Learned to Stop Currying and Love the Balm. |
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Gone to the dogs, this one has. |
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"Little Nicky"
"The Red Shoes"
"Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
"High Fidelity" |
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Greece?
No, seriously... lube will be provided? |
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If it was a big cinema, and not well
maintained, it could well be a case of"20,000
Leaks Under The Seat" … |
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It would be interesting to compare the appeal of the enema to the appeal of the film. |
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//20,000 Leaks Under The Seat// Bravo! |
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Funny in a Monty Python-ish way. <link> |
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"My own stools, sir, are perfect--they are gigantic! And, have no more odor than a hot biscuit.'' |
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is my all time favorite Anthony Hopkins line. |
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//20,000 Leaks Under The Seat// |
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I'm still laughing about that one... |
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(Note to Self: HIRE A PLUMBER) |
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"Close Encounters of the Turd Kind" |
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//of the Turd Kind//
Hahahaha |
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If a child sat in an adult seat by mistake, you could get "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid" ... |
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The Year of Living Dangerously. |
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Would all this be funded by the Motion/Picture
Academy? |
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Oh, and Shitty Shitty Bang Bang. |
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"The Towering Inuendo", and, worryingly,
"There Will Be Blood". |
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"Any which way but loose" ? |
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A sort of Ethnic Cleansing, certainly, but not
in the accepted sense of the term. |
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Aha. Agreed. Very clever. |
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'Fleet Fighter' (directly inspired by above prior art, of
course) |
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Angels with Dirty Faeces. |
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Ring Of Brown Water
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Flush Gordon
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The Movement of King George. |
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//This is turning into a Sphincters List// |
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HAAAAAhahahahahaaaaaa!!!!! |
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//The Movement of King George// |
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So I guess I can stop wondering why he stuttered... |
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//So I guess I can stop wondering why he stuttered...//
You're thinking of "The King's Peach" |
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Star Wars: Attack of the Colons
Star Wars: Rectum of the Jedi
Briefs Encounter |
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...and still nobody has mentioned 'Back Passage to India'.
This whole set of annos reminds me of that Irwin Allen TV series about the submarine. You know the one. Voyage to the Bottom of the Barrel. |
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Monty Python's 'The Cleaning of Wife'. |
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And then we could have the theatre version with some Shaking-spear: Romeo and Scrapey-jet, All's Well that Ends Well and Coriolanus will be the opening performances. |
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'special seats designed to deliver any number of specialized enemas for your colon cleansing pleasure' |
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All right. How exactly do these seats insert a tube rectally without disturbing the subject's enjoyment of the films? Or that of other movie goers? |
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First, we explain the principle of... Look, SQUIRREL !!! |
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There, that wasn't so bad, now was it? Relax and enjoy tonight's feature presentation, "Something Wicked This Way Comes." |
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You haven't worked that bit out yet. |
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More a case of he hasn't worked that one in,
it would seem. |
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The adjective "enjoyable" does seem to
imply that patrons of the establishment are
most likely to choose a rather narrow and
specific range of viewing material of the type
usually sent in a plain, unmarked wrapper. |
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Please feel free to take one of our tasty after dinner mints on your way out of the theatre! And don't forget next week's feature movie, "The Naked Spur," an old western classic sure to have you riding tall in the saddle. |
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