Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Apply directly to forehead.

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Empty Nest Filler

Ambient sounds for parents who find home too quiet without children
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When children grow up and move out, sometimes the home may seem too quiet for the parents who remain.

Empty Nest Filler provides the sound of children as if they were still around. It can be used temporarily to help ease the transition, or for long term comfort. It may also be used by people who never had children, but like the sound of them.

Some possible settings: rowdiness in the house, happy murmurings, faint outside playing, cereal slurpings, board game night, video game playing, teeth brushing, quieter reading to selves, carefree boasting,

It could be an app with controls to select the sound type, or a streaming service with different channels.

There are partially baked equivalents- sound effect and ambience libraries of kids playing, but they appear to be targeted toward commercial production use rather than consumer friendly products.

pukesick, Dec 01 2022

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       One delusion special please. How long does it take to reach full insanity?
Voice, Dec 01 2022
  

       If there is a dial to go back to the screaming tantrums and absurd demands, it will probably take less, i.e. 30 minutes or so.
mylodon, Dec 02 2022
  

       This will be a huge improvement on the taxidermied remains in the fruit cellar. [+]
pertinax, Dec 02 2022
  

       I suppose that's one way to keep the children from leaving.   

       Tbis is why they make those odd thing known as grandchildren I guess? All the fun of children but with convenient expiration times.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2022
  
      
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