h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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A weapon for police use, home defense, or athletic competition.
Two helices of thick, springy wire are connected by nonconductive, unstretchy ties. The wires are coiled inside of a handle with a battery (and electrical junk).
A release button allows the helices to spring to their full three foot
length. Extended, it looks somewhat like a model of DNA. The ends of the wires are closer than the rest of the 'blade', creating an intimidating high-voltage spark.
This end can be used to shock, but so can any point other than the handle. The helix should ensure that both wires contact the target.
Grabbing at the electron saber will not be an effective strategy. Do not point at eyes when deploying. Use as directed. Cooking hot dogs or marshmallows with the electron saber will void warranty.
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How do you collapse the thing? Manually? |
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And this sounds more like a whip than a saber. |
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Good for prodding cattle? |
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It could work manually. You could also run a cable through the centerline, and wind it up with a crank. That might be better. |
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There already exist things that are basically long clubs with taser prongs on the end. Security folks carry them. You can't shock someone with the baton part, but it does have conductive strips along the barrel in case someone tries to grab it. |
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The difference is that you can't brain someone with this, and you can swing it like a sword and have it shock. |
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Still soft and floppy like a whip. I will meet you on the field of battle with my broomstick of doom. A quick twist of the wrist and your saber will be wrapped around my stick and I can poke you in both eyes with my off hand whilst making three stooges noises. |
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You don't think I could make it at least as stiff as, say, a saber? |
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No, I don't think so. Basically you are making a pair of nested tied springs. And if you want them to collapse back into the handle they can't be very strong. Even if you weren't wanting to compress them back into the handle, the most rigid you could get is about as much as some radio antenna (the ones that are basically a rubber coated coiled wire). |
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Also it will be omnidirectionally flexible. A saber is quite rigid from edge to back, but fairly flexible (more flexible than an epee, less than a foil) from side to side. |
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Hmmm. What if I used a larger gauge of a stiffer metal and forewent collapsibility? Like some sort of aluminum (magnesium? Titanium?) alloy? Maybe 3 mm in diameter? |
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Sure, if you leave out the collapsibility you are basically creating a stun baton. Could be very effective. Rather than metal you might go for a kevlar composite for maximum stiffness with minimum mass. Just run your conductors around the outside. |
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