h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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Continuous trumpeting of a plastic vuvuzela for 90
minutes
will leave most people short of breath, not to mention
cut
into time better spent drinking beer, shouting at the ref
or
other random acts of football specatorship. The electric
vuvuzela has a small electric compressor and a silicone
embouchure. Simply turn on the device and the 6V
lantern
battery will provide 90 full minutes of head-stuck-in-a-
giant-
beehive goodness!
This is also good for people who have COPD,
emphysema, or
asthma, as it will allow them to participate in the
'cheering'.
Pursed-lip breathing
http://adam.about.c...ports/000070_10.htm
Why vuvuzelas are _good_ for you. [mouseposture, Jul 03 2010]
Logo of Emory University
http://www.google.c...d=2&ved=0CBIQ_AUoAQ
[bungston, Aug 15 2011]
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//good for people who have COPD, emphysema, or
asthma// To the contrary,people with restrictive lung
disease find it _easier_ to exhale against resistance than
normally*. Patients with really severe emphysema purse
their lips when they exhale, almost like playing the
vuvuzela, except without vibrating the lips <link>.
Perhaps
vuvuzelas could be a form of incentive spirometry.
Imagine asking a vuvuzelist to shut up, and being told
"Sorry, doctor's orders." |
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*This is counterintuitive, but it actually makes sense, in
terms of pulmonary physiology. |
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Are you sure than an electric vuvuzela is not made by putting a mic on a kazoo, and running the signal through a massive amp? |
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I was pondering something similar to this. One could fit the vuvuzella with a compressed air tank, then pump it up like a super soaker or a pellet gun. The benefit here is that the higher pressure will allow a louder sound which is what the world needs now. |
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My invention (sorry, it's purely derivative and not worth its own post): the electric vuvuzela alarm clock. When it shuts off, it's time to get up. |
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I'll get me own coat thanks. |
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Why would you need a coat ? It's damned hot in Hell, and you're going to be roasting there for all Eternity ... hopefully with two demons continuously blowing vuvuzelas into your ears. |
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For vendors, the ultimate would be a vuvuzela with a
built-in co2 cartridge. That's where you get your return
business, in single-use novelties. |
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... with a massive carbon footprint. |
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Why not just sit under a ladder and smash mirrors over a black cat ? |
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I have been pondering the logo of Emory University and Alterother's comment brings it into focus. Clearly one of those things on the logo is a vuvuzela. The other is a compressed gas vuvuzella running on propane, with a wire in the bell containing copper and magnesium salts to color the flame gold and blue. |
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Annoy the shit out of people with less effort, I love it! |
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[The Alterother] is Charter Alumni at Emory University. The
propane-powered self-blowing disposable vuvuzela is a
herald borrowed from
his personal coat-of-arms. |
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He doesn't know where the other one came from. |
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