Facing the electric chair? Life getting you down? Is your
end nigh?
Electric Chair woes begone!!
Simply ask your guard to order you the latest, greatest
thing in electric chair fun!
The Maxme Kapacitative Kaper Kit contains 2 litres of
flesh-tone latex paint (odour free), 1.5 litres
of finest
marine-grade aluminium paint, an unbreakable full-
length* mirror, ***and*** two free applicateror brushes!!!
It's just everything you need to leave 'em laughing all the
way down death row.
Follow the simple paint-by-numbers wallchart, and have
fun painting the indicated areas of skin with layers of
aluminium paint and latex. Don't skimp, now! And
above
all, don't forget to leave a couple of inconspicuous
patches
of the aluminium exposed on your wrists and scalp.
When your big day comes and they throw that switch,
just
watch the expression on your friends' and executioner's
faces as you appear completely impervious to the
kilovolts.
When applied according to our instructions, the Maxme
Kapacitative Kaper Kit will give the average male inmate
a
capacitance of between 2.5 and 3.5 Farads. We
**guarantee**
no significant leakage of charge over a five minute
period,
ample time for you to comment on the poor quality of
modern electrocution equipment as they release your
restraints.
Simply hold your hand out for some help getting out of
the
chair and - Gadulka! - amaze your friends as both you
and
the guard go out with one final hair-raising bang!
*Applies only to persons less than 5'7". Not valid in
California.