h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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A long time ago, some rather undersexed and
overdressed combination of cultures, probably as a result
of having had their corsets and cumberbuns pulled
unnaturally tight by their servants in a fit of passive-
aggressive retributive behavior, decided that elbows
should be denied their natural
restage upon the tables at
which their owners dine while the meal was being
partaken. Of course, this was the same culture that not
too many years before had decided that huge wigs were
the essence of style.
These kitchen table add-ons preserve this arbitrary
social rule while providing some relaxation for your
dinner party. Simple adjustable padded wings which
attach underneath the dining table include several
degrees of freedom, with spring-lever support as per
your favorite hinged desk lamp. Now you are free to
manipulate your dinner implements with more support,
or simply finger it all if you are so inclined.
The Greenwood Encyclopedia of Clothing Through World History
http://www.amazon.c...story/dp/0313336628
Apparently "This work is a guide for students and general readers..." but at £230 just for volume 1, this seems a somewhat dubious claim. [DrBob, Apr 06 2011]
[link]
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Growing up it was strictly enforced that our elbows should be on the table: "Hey, get those elbows on the table!", "Get that napkin off your lap!", "Chew withspspsp your mouthspspsp openspsps!". |
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[+] I like it, but one may also use these for arm wrestling at dinner with the person next to you, no? |
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Sure, but they're typically much lower than the table
height. |
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Of course, rather than address the idea, I immediately rushed off to verify the scurrilous claims about corsets, cummerbunds & wigs. My research led me to discover that, as a species, wigs apparently died out in Western Europe for a thousand years after the fall of the Roman Empire. Further research however, stumbled and fell at the rather sizeable hurdle of The Greenwood Encyclopedia of Clothing Through World History (link). I'm therefore back to addressing the idea. + |
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This idea simply adresses a point of etiquette. |
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As the preamble suggests, etiquette is utterly pointless, contrived rubbish. |
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Therefore, the idea is redundant. |
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Simply ignore the etiquette. |
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Hassidim and Beduins eat with their hands at ritual
meals. Of course the rinsing of the hands is an
important ritual repeated several times during
these meals. |
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Its also a Greek ritual at the meal after someone
from the community dies. I'm not sure they rinse
their hands... There was a disaster two or three
years ago following a meal of that kind. |
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I also read somewhere that we have a certain kind
of bacteria on the finger "pillows" of our hands,
that assist in digesting certain kinds of food,
which cannot be digested without it! |
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Most people eat bread with their hands. But our
friend ate the Sabbath feast by Dutch Jews, and
after the blessing sent her hands to take the little
bread sandwiches, but immediately pulled her
hands back because she was stabbed with 20 dirty
looks staring at her. A second passed, and then
everyone put their forks forward and took the
sandwiches. |
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My daughter's Yemeni friend had a Russian friend
over, and they ate Mallawah dipping it into
Humus. The Russian girl liked it very much. When
she invited her Yemeni friend over, the Russian
mother treated them to Mallawah and Humus.
They mother began the meal, eating it with a fork
and knife, and the two girls followed, without a
word. |
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There is a joke about a Meshamesh (the Hassidic
leader's personal aid)
who asked his Rebbe (the Hassidic leader) if they
could use the new nylon tablecloth covers, just
invented. The answer was: No way! What would
the hassidim wipe their hands with?! |
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There's also a theory that eating with the fingers aids digestion by additional sensory signaling that food is on the way. I would speculate that it may help with appetite regulation too. |
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My grandmother had a thing, don't put your feet on the table, because they may get accidentally cut with a knife. Of course this only encouraged the weeer members of the family to put up their feets in the hope of seeing the mysterious and inexplicable cutting in action. |
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(+) But, all those years of getting a fork stabbed into my kidneys until my elbows grew smart enough to know their place ... |
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it's all just wasted now. |
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