h a l f b a k e r yExperiencing technical difficulties since 1999
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Tiny Bubbas in the wine, make me feel happy,
make me feel fine. |
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Eau de Humanité Bottling Company, a wholly-owned
subsidiary of Paper Street Soap Co. |
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[+] for irony, [-] for jumping on the bandwagon and using the ghastly word "sheeple". |
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Perhaps if the water came from a celebrity... |
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ImBieber - now with added selenium gomez. |
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[hippo], did you actually award and then rescind your bun?
Otherwise it doesn't count. |
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/fancy French name/
It could be sold by the twelve dozen: |
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OT: Motto of the French Navy*:
"A l'Eau, c'est l'Heure" |
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*According to Alan Coren. |
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Sorry, [hippo], but you know it's the best possible
descriptor for those automatons who read magazine
articles about "celebrities" and then buy / flaunt /
emulate their purchases and baa-a-a-haviour because
it's cool. |
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<whispers> Soylant clear is people... |
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Distilled from Eau d'Hindenburg - "Wake up and taste the thermite" |
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funny but OMG it could maybe work, which horrifies me |
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"... and this is a very fine vintage Dylan Thomas, 40% ABV... " |
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I realised that when I thought of it. I'm sure there
are also people who would willingly partake of the
filtered by-products of Angelina Jolie or Beyonce or,
heaven forfend, Lindsey Whatever-her-name-is, and
do so happily. |
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Didn't the Fremen of Arrakis recycle the water of their dead in Dune? I can't remember. |
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Probably, [2fries]. There was some pretty cool
water-saving going on in that book. |
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Not only the water of their dead; the Fremen wore
'stillsuits' that recycled pretty much all excretions into
water they sipped from a straw near their collar. One of
the books even described a system that cooled the water
as they moved. I'm not sure if it ever said what, if
anything, the stillsuit does with fecal matter. |
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That's one of the best halfbaked inventions in sci-fi. I think bodily motion powered the pumping and filteration . |
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I believe that as well. I think the motion-powered cooling
appuratus came much later, in one of the interminable
sequels. |
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Dune also has serious scifi cred for the extensive use of
ornithopters. And that's coming from a real fiction author,
so you know it's legit. |
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No, really, I just got another piece published. |
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Congrats, the [Alterother]. What was it? |
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Oh, but that will spoil my little self-gratification game. |
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What the hell, nobody's playing anyway. It's in next month's
issue of
Gemini, an online lit journal (http://gemini-
magazine.com/). Not exactly sure when it will come out.
The story is called 'Let's Rob a Bank'. It's the first of many
to come. |
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I am, of course, proud as piss. |
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Well done. I'll keep an eye out. |
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I was playing [Alterother]. I've already surreptitiously
assassinated 7
men in the mountains of Maine who roughly fit your
description (motorcyclists, writers, men whose wives are
named 'Jenny', people with parents who are
vets, etc.). Now that you're just handing us the answer I
might as well quit playing. On the plus side, your welding
business will pick up as a large number of your local
competitors seem to have met with an unfortunate demise.
(Congrats - will watch out for your story) |
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I'm glad you got some fun out of it, then. Feel free to
claim your prize whenever you like! Seriously, anyone who
sends me a snail address gets an autographed object that
has rested within arm's reach of where I work my magic.
When my first novel gets optioned into a blockbuster
screenplay, the e-bay value will be slightly more than I
paid to ship it to you. |
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Actually, this works out even better for me, vanity-wise,
because instead of imagining that everyone's scouring the
literary world trying to figure out who the mysterious
genius is, now I get to imagine all of you reading my stories
and bragging to your friends and relatives about how you
know me. |
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// I am, of course, proud as piss.// Isn't that, of course, what this idea is all about? Next you'll have us queueing up for Eau de Alterother. |
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//I've already surreptitiously assassinated 7 men// |
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Always with the same spring-loaded deer-thrower? If you're not careful, people will catch on. |
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In order to prolong the fun for [Alterother] and myself I shall continue playing with renewed vigour until the article is published. (If publication is delayed because of some unfortunate fire-bombing of Gemini's offices, well, these things happen. - probably just some misinformed Greenies who think all magazines cause trees to be cut down) |
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