EarthShips

There's all this talk about having to go to other planets and therefore we need to build expensive spaceships for this purpose. And these spaceships need to overcome such things as the lack of oxygen in space, the g-forces of leaving the planet, combating extreme heat and extreme cold and radiation. And when they come back they have to leave all sorts of things behind.

Lets stop sending all our metals on one-way missions into space. Lets put massive engines on this planet we're on; build underground living areas; destroy the ozone layer to let in some extra heat and then set off a few hundred nuclear warheads to lock it all inside a thick cloud layer; light the fires, kick the tires and ping-ball wizard ourselves out of the system.

We could keep the planetary core all fluid and hot with a nuclear explosion every so often and maintain the heat whilst we head out to find a new solar system and sling out way into a new orbit there. Maybe we'll find other life-sustaining planets with inteligent life - and boy will we need them after a few thousand years underground and floating in deep space.

I mean, can we really believe we'll be smart enough to stock up enough toilet paper and spare underwear?

I can imagine the landing parties: "We come in peace - take us to your convenience stores."

Let's just hope they accept Visa (or I.O.U.s - I mean, we can stiff them on the bill and high-tail it out of the system on a quest for MORE toilet paper!!).