h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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This would be a site for joke-based fables to better appeal to modern consumption. The characters should be animals, and the humorous lesson should be stated as a needless but edifying moral. Contributions are welcomed.
Mama Bear phoned the chimp repairman because her dishwasher quit
working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rottweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.
As the chimp was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"
To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!"
The moral is: To ignore warnings and use unkind words is to put your foot in another’s mouth.
Baked - "The Cyberiad: Fables for the Cybernetic Age"
http://www.amazon.c...detail/-/0156027593
...and absolutely hilarious, like most of Lem's work. For some reason, they keep filming Solaris, his most turgid work. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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...and the Wolf barman says "That's incredible!", and the bear says "Yup, I met this genie who granted me one wish - I'll tell you where to find him if you like. Just be careful to speak up when you ask him your wish - he's a bit deaf". |
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...you mean "Time cut off weight from gnome Anne with his scythe", surely? |
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*ahem* Time waits for no one... |
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...two of whom were eskimo, and a bit dim. These two were out in their kayak one day. Feeling chilly, they decided to light a fire in the middle of the kayak which, of course, sank. |
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...and the blonde woman nudged her equally fair-haired companion, and indicated still another blond woman sitting in a rowboat in the middle of an open field, vainly pulling at the oars. "That makes me mad," the first one said. "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." To which her friend replied, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and give her a piece of my mind!" |
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...of the two Arctic Wood-Boring Weevils which had critically weakened the structure of the kayak, the one which had done the most damage was the lesser of two weevils.
This weevil turned to the other and said "You can't have your kayak and heat it too" to which the other, noting the correlation between the squaws' animal-skin clothing and the number of their offspring said... |
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You know, the whole "modern-day fables" thing is pretty baked if you look for it. |
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