h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Smoking looks cool. Damn cool. This would impress young minds at a subconcious level to counter more appealing depictions of smokers.
It would be something for a sort of anti smoking mascot to use. They'd go to nightclubs, concerts etc wheeling around this nicotine delivery system designed to look
like a hospital life support system. The delivery system would beep occasionally and have lights and numbers.
To complete the look, the user would wear a hospital gown with no butt coverage and cheap foam slippers.
He could wear some smarmy sign like "Smoking looks cool".
I actually think e-cigarettes are a great idea and can't stand people who tell other people what to do so I don't know why I'm posting this idea. Just to make sure I can still type I guess.
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Since many locations have now included e-cigarettes in their "No smoking" policy, a portable oxygen mask and cylinder would be the ideal disguise for such a device ... |
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It seems like an asthma inhaler would be a more convenient disguise for an e-cigarette, but I suppose it would look suspicious if it is being used every few seconds. |
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I like Pen Jillet's anti smoking message: |
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"Remember kids, don't smoke... unless you want to look REALLLY cool!" |
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Personally I couldn't care less if / when/ where or why people smoke. I miss the little ashtrays on airplanes. They've been replaced by "service" dogs. I'm far more likely to trip over a service dog exiting a sinking airplane than a cigarette butt. |
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"Outta my way granny! This plane's sinkin' fast!" |
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In any case, why don't they just start a campaign to
make smokers more lighthearted? According to my
pack, it's smoking seriously that damages your
health. |
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// Can we not just ban something sensible like being completely stupid in public places, // |
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Because that would be the end of tourism from the U.S., a notable foreign currency earner for many nations. |
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// or in places where complete stupidity is even more common like the government // |
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The end of Management as we know it ... |
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// We could also tax stupidity heavily. // |
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This is known to exist, but sadly is not yet commonplace. |
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// After all smokers have taken the greater share of the burden of paying tax and doing the thinking over the years. // |
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Au contraire ... if they were truly "doing the thinking" they wouldn't be paying the tax ... |
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You're right there, [8th]. If those of us who enjoy
the beautiful weed ever got together and did the
thinking properly, we'd realize that the government
is on pretty shaky ground when it declares that it
will charge you a huge amount of money to do what
you like with the leaf of a particular type of plant. |
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// Can we not just ban something sensible like being completely stupid in public places, // |
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//Because that would be the end of tourism from the U.S// |
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Is that my cue to say something like "Hey man, a couple of million American "tourists" armed with P51s and Sherman tanks are the only reason jackboots aren't goose stepping through Leicester Square as we speak... yadda yadda yadda." ? |
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Actually, we all have about thirty million vodka-swilling
Russians with PPsHes to thank for that. And there were only
a few hundred thousand American servicemen in the UK,
not two million. It only seemed like that many because we
are, as a people, generally loud and overpresent in any
social setting. |
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Interesting how U.S. combat deaths in Europe
were
183,588 yet only a "few hundred thousand" passed
through England on their way to hold the Russian's
coats while they did all the real fighting. |
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Did they all get killed? I seem to remember
hearing
about one or two making it back ok. |
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And forgive me if I don't praise Stalin for his role in
liberating Europe from tyranny. |
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//we are, as a people, generally loud and
overpresent in any social setting.// |
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Mmm, yea ok. I'll give you that one. |
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If you must acknowledge it, at least try to do
it a tone of voice
quieter than a bellow. |
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// "Hey man, a couple of million American
"tourists" armed with P51s and Sherman
tanks are the only reason jackboots aren't
goose stepping through Leicester Square as
we speak. // |
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Any prospect of a successful invasion of
Britain had pretty much vanished by
December 1940 solely by the efforts of the
natives, coincidentally a whole year before
the US was caught with its oversize garish
Hawaiian shorts down by the Filthy Nips and
was forced to desist from coat-holding and
wade in, rather than just counting the money
and singing "Happy Days Are Here Again". |
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Your comment that our Hawaiian shorts were
somehow "oversized" is specious. You've implied
that short pants bearing a Pacific islands flora
motif should be sorter and fitted to the curves of
the
wearer. This would not allow the freedom of
movement we need to do things like surfing,
running on the beach, having fun and counting
money. I understand this might differ from the
skin-tight
socialist government issue burlap underwear
you're fond of, but form follows function and
Hawaiian shorts do the job they were meant to do
nicely. |
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And I like Nips, Filthy though they may be, but
then again I like the English too so there's no
accounting for
taste. |
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You Rock [doc]. If you notice us loud and stupid Americans don't say such nasty insults nor retort back to generalized accusations of stupidity or people's penchant for fashions.
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Only because you have no choice, since your
innate capacity for wit,
repartee, rhetoric and irony is slightly less
than that of a stunned hummingbird … |
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And no, it is an offence against all that's
civilised to sell flowery shorts in those sizes.
It's bad and wrong. Big shorts, yes, by all
means, but at least in some plain neutral
colour like khaki or olive drab. |
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If by stupid you mean uneducated, then I totally disagree. After all, knowledge is wealth and people should be taxed accordingly. |
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The irreconcilable paradox of a Cleverness
Tax is that the majority of clever people can
act stupid and avoid it, whereas stupid
people are ipso facto too stupid to avoid a
stupidity tax by being clever … |
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e cigarettes have obviously hooked a neighbor of mine. He thinks they are safe and harmless. So sad. |
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Now if they make e Booze, that will be something. |
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// "Hey man, a couple of million American
"tourists" armed with P51s and Sherman tanks are
the only reason jackboots aren't goose stepping
through Leicester Square as we speak. // |
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Any prospect of a successful invasion of
Britain had pretty much vanished by December
1940 solely by the efforts of the natives,
coincidentally a whole year before the US was
caught with its oversize garish Hawaiian shorts
down by the Filthy Nips and was forced to desist
from coat-holding and wade in, rather than just
counting the money and singing "Happy Days Are
Here Again".
— 8th of 7, Sep 17 2013 |
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Your comment that our Hawaiian shorts were
somehow "oversized" is specious. You've implied
that short pants bearing a Pacific islands flora
motif should be sorter and fitted to the curves of
the wearer. This would not allow the freedom of
movement we need to do things like surfing,
running on the beach, having fun and counting
money. I understand this might differ from the
skin-tight socialist government issue burlap
underwear you're fond of, but form follows
function and Hawaiian shorts do the job they were
meant to do nicely. |
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And I like Nips, Filthy though they may be,
but then again I like the English too so there's no
accounting for taste.
— doctorremulac3, Sep 18 2013// |
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My God, could this be the finest sparring match
ever in the on again / off again battle of American
vs Englishman? I was laughing out loud at both
sides. |
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No. The finest was the War of 1812, the one where your white house got bunt down ... remember that ? You got a right drubbing, from, gods help you, the Canucks. That's got to sting ... |
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//solely by the efforts of the natives// |
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... including natives of Australia, Barbados, Belgium,
Czechoslovakia, France, Ireland, Jamaica, New Zealand,
Poland and South Africa. |
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//solely by the efforts of the natives// |
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... including natives of Australia, Barbados, Belgium,
Czechoslovakia, France, Ireland, Jamaica, New Zealand,
Poland and South Africa. |
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//No. The finest was the War of 1812, the
one where your white house got bunt down ...
remember that ? You got a right drubbing, from,
gods help you, the Canucks. That's got to sting ..// |
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Scene: The Moon, 1969. (157 years after 1812) |
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Neal Armstrong: "Hey Buzz, you ever feel bad
about the War of 1812?" |
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Buzz Aldrin: "Wow, the Earth looks magnificent
from here doesn't it? What was that about 1812?" |
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Neil: "You know, the War of 1812. Do you ever lay
awake at night and think. "Wow, I'm truly ashamed
to be an American. In 1812, years after kicking the
crap of the English, they tried messing with us
again and although we kicked the crap out of them
and their allies yet another time, they did manage
to burn some
buildings down." |
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Buzz: "Mmmm. No, can't say I've given it a lot of
thought. Been pretty busy since then. Why, is that
something that's bugging you?" |
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Neil: "No, of course not. This conversation never
took place obviously. We're characters in an absurd
parody talking about the war of 1812 while walking
on the Moon." |
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Buzz: "Oh, that's nice. Hey, there's a lovely piece
of plagioclase feldspar! Think I'll take it home and
give it to my wife." |
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Aaaand scene! Thank you. ;) |
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Optional additional joke: |
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"Hey, there's a lovely piece of plagioclase feldspar!
Think I'll take it home and give it to my wife. |
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After that maybe I'll give her this rock." |
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//War of 1812// That was more of an extended pub crawl : you visited us, we visited you to collect on the bar tab... 20 quid is 20 quid. |
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But, by the time we got there you'd turned the lights off and scarpered. The fire was an accident: McKilroy had an empty bottle in one hand and a lit torch in the other, went to toss the bottle at the door you weren't answering and... well, McKilroy wasn't ever the brightest pitchfork in the shed, even sober. |
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Be fair though, it's not like you were using it for anything important... |
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In agreement on that one. |
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