E-Pellet

Not so long ago, the local library was shut down when an astute librarian noticed suspicious powder on a returned tape. In their ever-present paranoia, local officials wouldn't let anyone leave, and only by some oversight did they fail to have the unfortunate library patrons within strip down for decontamination. Later, a part time radio personality admitted that he had accidentally spilled ant poison powder on one or more tapes that he had returned. That seemed reasonable enough to the local officials, so they let him go with a warning.

Now, I'm not going to let terrorist threats change the way I live, and I think most Americans feel the same way. But some small steps have to be taken against the real danger of powdered pathogens. Thus, my new product – E-Pellet. Everything in pellet form. Ant poison shouldn’t be in powder form to begin with. E-Pellets – about the size of marbles, preferably. (Might be a little hard to swallow for an ant, but they are nibblers, I think.) Talcum powder -- that can be in E-Pellets that you rub under your arm – or on the baby’s bottom. Sugar already comes in cubes, but salt! I may have trouble competing with some forms of rock salt, but I think that my E-pellets will be preferred at discriminating tables – they will be perfectly (and perhaps sensually) formed, and uniform in size.

I have purchased manufacturing facilities, and as soon as Congress acts, I am ready to move. Investors may contact me directly.