h a l f b a k e r yExperiencing technical difficulties since 1999
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Having woken up this morning again freezing as my husband had turned himself into a human sausage roll, almost entirely encircled in quilt, I thought about creating the duvet anchor, to save him feeling guilty all the way through breakfast.
A duvet cover would have 4 cords, which have a small degree
of elasticity, attached, with a hook on the end (covered in a nice soft fabric). These hooks then attach to the anchors, which live just under the bed, and have a loop on top. The anchors are very heavy, but made of a beanbag-type filling, and covered in soft padded fabric, so that you don't hurt your feet when getting out of bed. When in bed, simply loop the cord through the anchor loop, and settle down for a harmonious night's sleep.
I know that similar things have been mooted here, and I hope this hasn't been half-baked by someone else. I think this idea is a little different, as it allows you to stick your feet out of the sides, which I like to do, and the elasticity of the cords allows for some wiggle room. Which is nice.
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Isn't this just a return to sheets and blankets? I think if you're going to have duvet anchors they should at least be made from cast iron and shaped like a real sailing ship's anchors.
Personally I'd favour a
GPS-enabled duvet which sounded an alarm if it travelled to far to one side of the bed. |
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//Isn't this just a return to sheets and blankets? // No, because it's only anchored at the corners, thereby retaining the flexibility and wiggle room of the duvet. I think the GPS option would be useful in arbitration, if each party accused the other of doing it more, but the alarm element isn't exactly conducive to sleeping. |
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Okay, so instead of an alarm, have it administer small electric shocks to the offending party. |
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Electric shocks? Knowing my luck it would make the offender's limbs spasm, and grip the quilt even tighter. Besides, if I happen to be close to him, I don't want to share the pain. |
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You could just attach the duvet to the bedframe with elastic, but then you wouldn't have the heavy beanbags with which to whack your partner for non quilt-thievery misdemeanours. |
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Several cats on your side of the bed works. |
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Baked, methinks, in a Dutch Oven. |
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There are some very old comments made by UK men about putting half-bricks into the corners of duvets, to keep them from getting blown off in the night... The duvet, that is, not the men. |
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But a bun for reminding me of some old jokes. |
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Miss Bianca - must post a photograph of my former cat
Sailor who was three feet long and weighed 22 lbs -
nothing moved that he draped himself over |
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