h a l f b a k e r yRomantic, but doomed to fail.
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Well, I know this one is pre-baked, because I know people who are doing this already. But it's an idea whose time has come for mainstream acceptance and deliberate action.
We all probably know someone (mother-in-law, grandparent, uncle) who packs away shopping bags full of slightly-used Ziploc bags,
craft pom-poms, baby food jars full of thumbtacks, moth-eaten clothes from the 1960s. One person I know goes shopping every afternoon and comes home with bags full of amazing deals on useless crap from dollar stores, goodwill bins, and thrift store "free" piles, thrilled with a sense of great accomplishment at finding $4.05 worth of stuff for only $2.39.
These items get stuffed into used shopping bags, and linger around in the living space for a while before being stored in an attic, or elsewhere. Some elderly packrats that have been doing it for decades end up with houses literally _full_ of stuff, with a thin "path" through from one room to the next.
I feel like I've already overstated this one...
That stuff is usually cheaper than the pink fibreglas insulation. And it just achieves the same effect. So instead of buying foamy insulation from a hardware depot, go and get piles of useless Dollar Store Crap (DSC) and throw it through a wood-chipper or something. Line your attic with stuffed easter bunnies. Insulate your basement walls with "A-Team" party hats and those plastic toys with the little ball that you try to catch in the cup, even though the "string" connecting them is a stiff plastic umbilicus with the pliability of 12g copper wire.
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The problem with this plan is much of that stuff you are grinding up is fairly flammable. Do you really want to fill up the hottest room in your house with flammable material? |
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<grandma> Oh, honey, if you want to make insulation you can use ...(looks around junky house) those wedding cake decorations. No, wait! I might be able to use those. Maybe Kate will use them at her reception. How about that bag of bird perches. No. Yes. Yes, you can use the bird perches, but leave about twelve of them, no fifteen ... make that twenty, leave me twenty bird perches and you can have the rest. </g> |
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I laughed my ass off over this one...........
Especially like the title, however I would include the
word useless in the combination. The UDSC =
Useless Dollar Store Crap place at the mall has a nice
ring to it.
I have seen way too many old folks with this mental
defect. Piles of old used greeting cards, plastic caps
from deoderant cans,pieces of old carpeting, sturdy
margerine tubs, etc. I think I would line my attic
with spent car deoderizers shaped like evergreens.
Or how about a whole room of those plastic do-hickies
that come with fancy sox ( mini plastic hangers)
Does anyone save the plastic applicators that come
with tampons? It is true you know........the more stuff
taking up room in your house, displaces the volumes
of air you would otherwise need to heat in the winter.
About 15 years ago they made a life-size
plastic fist that doubled as a room deoderizer. It was
supposed to be "Mr. T's" fist. A TV show character.
The fist was festooned with faux finger rings. I don't
remember what the scent was, but I thought it was
just plain weird so I bought a bunch of them at a
discount store and gave them away as novelty gifts. |
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