h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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If your dog has been properly trained for commands, such as "gee", "haw", "mush", &c., it should be easily possible to equip the dog's collar with a turn-by-turn GPS navigation device, on which the recordings have been replaced by the appropriate commands in your voice.
With a set of pannier bags,
the pooch might even be able to run useful errands.
No training needed
http://news.nationa...20501_roborats.html remote controlled pets [loonquawl, Mar 24 2009]
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I had a horse I used to send to the store for beer. But he couldn't count very well and they would always short-change him. |
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The dog doesn't have to use the credit card. I sent him, and I can call ahead and make arrangements. Return Mrs. Anderson's baking dish, pick up a couple Whoppers at the drive-up window, check whether Stevens' cow has busted the south fence again... |
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An interesting idea although you might need changes in the laws to allow dogs to wander about unmolested (or uncaptured) whilst under the influence of this device. A cat would have a far easier time but they can carry less. |
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Have you considered that dogs can't enter places where food is sold? |
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//A dog can't use an ATM// So send your butler, or at the very worst, tell him to send his valet. |
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Uh...what happens when your pit bull stops to
take a chunk outta Mrs. Anderson's leg first and
*then* hand her over her baking dish? |
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with the noise of traffic and people your pup is bound to miss a command or two in the process, think you not? rather than being reasonably sure my dog would return with a basket of fresh produce and a baguette, i'd be fearful for his safe return the entire trip. also, doggies have no way to tell you that they (and the gps) have been dognapped and are not likely to return very soon. i like the idea for the idea's sake, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. |
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This sounds like fun. More trouble than it's worth,
probably, but enough fun to want to try it
anyway. |
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Certainly a dog could return some item someone
left at your house--like, say, a scarf or a cell
phone. I don't think picking up burgers would go
as planned, however. |
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This would be pretty cool within a certain supermarket. |
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// Uh...what happens when your pit bull stops to take a
chunk outta Mrs. Anderson's leg first and *then* hand her
over her baking dish? // |
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As a lover of the much-maligned breed, I'll spare you the
standard speech about how they're naturally sweet and
freindly dogs who get a bad rap in the media, but instead
I'll point out that training a dog to perform such a complex
task cannot be accomplished without trust, and there is no
trust between a dog and an owner who has trained it only
to be vicious and aggressive. |
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// Who picks up after the dog when he shits on the
sidewalk? // |
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Dogs can be trained to eliminate on command--two of
mine are. They also tend to have fairly predictable
digestive systems, so if the dog is out and about during the
time of day when it normally feels the urge, the DogNav
will simply alter course to an appropriate area, issue the
relevant command, and wait until the dog begins to move
around again, at which point it will resume the mission. |
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// how to protect a delivery dog // |
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Proximity-fuzed Claymore mines and a doggy flak jacket. |
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Why was this most excellent idea not brought to
my attention sooner? It opens up unlimitless
possibilities, and someone should bake this. It
shouldn't even need any special hardware - I
understand that many battery-powered GPSs
already allow you to record your own voice
commands to replace the default. |
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One comment: I suspect the dog would have to
be retrained to the GPS voice, even if it was its
usual master's voice. Dogs (and most non-
humans) have a very literal and context-specific
perception. So your dog isn't just responding to
your voice; it's responding to the whole "voice
plus master is present plus x plus y plus z"
package, and a disembodied voice might not
trigger the same response without special
training. |
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But absolutely total bunnage. |
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//special training// - yes, quite. |
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Actually, one of the triggers for this idea was my pa's stories about the two sheep-dogs he "inherited" for his first job. He said you could give them directions "from as far away as they could see you wave a blanket"; he just had to be careful where he sent them because the dogs didn't understand "our sheep" vs "their sheep" - they felt very strongly that all the sheep they found should be in a single flock. |
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[21], thanks, I know about the backblast. I was very most
sincerly kidding. Also, nobody's mentioned Claymores in a
few weeks and it seemed like an appropriate time. |
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