Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dob in a Super Villain

A toll free number you can call to bust super villains
 
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It seems that for every crime, there is a toll free number you can call and the appropriate authority will be summoned in order for justice to prevail. Software piracy? Dob in a pirate! Selling cigarettes to kids! Dob in a tobacco pusher! Smokey car? Dob in a Datsun!

So I think it only fitting that the public should be provided with a toll free number so that super villain activity can be reported to a call centre, errm, Justice Call Squadron®, then depending on the nature of the villain and felonious act, the appropriate super hero can be summoned and sent to the scene of the crime.

The public can be told what to look for; super villain activity is easy to spot. If you see a guy in black whose self-directed chuckles grow in volume and mirth, call the hotline! Capes are a dead giveaway, as well as those who carry and stroke cats. As super villains evolve and change so can the ad campaigns. "If you were thinking of becoming a super villain bent on world domination, think again, because this weekend, we're holding operation ..."

This idea also has other, intrinsic advantages: A call centre would provide employment in that oh-so-interesting call centre industry, also the super heroes wouldn't have to spend so much time hunting the villains, and can spend more time kickin' back and thinking of cool stuff to say just before they put the smack down on a villain.

sdm, Jul 01 2001


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Annotation:







       "Hello - you have dialed 999, which service to you require" "super hero" "this is for real emergancys only - prank calls are an offence"   

       Nope - dialing 999 won't help you here...
RobertKidney, Jul 01 2001
  

       Perhaps there could be public superhero call boxes, like there are for fire and police now. They could contain a miniature battery-powered Batsignal or something.
wiml, Jul 01 2001
  

       This underwear-on-the-outside thing: It seems to have no roots in the canon of heroic literature prior to 1933. Then, boom! Every guy who can lift his own body-weight is briefs-to-the-world. Does anyone...get this?
The Military, Jul 02 2001
  

       [Meph]: To rat on, to grass up, to tattle on. More concretely, to inform upon (someone).
angel, Jul 02 2001
  

       UnaBubba, that's the other thing: The boy sidekick. Why not a hot woman sidekick? It's all so...confusing.
The Military, Jul 03 2001
  

       I love the idea of batsignal creating boxes being dotted around the cities.
hidden truths, Sep 06 2005
  


 

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