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Do It Yourself Lip Lift

 suck it in, smooth it out
  (+4, -1)
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You too can have a prettier, wrinkle-free face faster than you can say “botulinum toxin A injection”. Just turn your lips inward and suck them between your teeth. See how your frown lines and hanging jowls magically disappear? Don’t forget to grin!

Start by holding that pose for a minute, then double the time each following day. Friends and relatives will be wide-eyed upon beholding the new smooth-faced you. Send away for our lipstick application instructions and tips on how to converse with less of a lisp.

—FarmerJohn, Jan 19 2005

Don't over do it though. http://www.ahajokes.com/strange/01.jpg
[skinflaps, Jan 19 2005]

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       That wath a great powthting [FJ]!
—wagster, Jan 19 2005
   

       Won't all the tightening and loosening make your skin saggier?
—phundug, Jan 19 2005
   

       It sounds like you're not sucking hard enough.
—FarmerJohn, Jan 19 2005
   

       Oh don't worry [FJ], I really thuck hard....
—wagster, Jan 19 2005
   

       Wait...you're still talking about the post, right?
—Machiavelli, Jan 19 2005
   

       Stay in pose:   

       Day 1: 1 minute
Day 2: 2 minutes
Day 3: 4 minutes
Day 4: 8 minutes
Day 5: 16 minutes
Day 6: 32 minutes
Day 7: 1 hour 4 minutes
Day 8: 2 hours 8 minutes
Day 9: 4 hours 16 minutes
Day 10: 8 hours 32 minutes
Day 11: 17 hours 4 minutes
Day 12: I really hope it's working by then...
—DrCurry, Jan 20 2005
   


 

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